Some people are using the COVID-19 quarantine as an opportunity to better themselves physically and mentally, while others have seen fit to bring our nightmares to life. Rumours emerged several weeks ago that there existed a secret cut of CATS, Tom Hooper's feature-film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's acclaimed musical, which was full of buttholes. Yep, buttholes.
A Twitter exchange between Ben Mekler and Jack Waz first brought up the existence of the butthole cut of CATS, with Waz saying, "A VFX producer friend of a friend was hired in November to finish some of the 400 effects shots in @catsmovie. His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before. Which means that, somewhere out there, there exists a butthole cut of Cats." A VFX crew-member on CATS later messaged Mekler to shed a little more light on the subject, saying, "There were never shots of cats with butt holes, or at least by design, none that I saw anyway. However, there were a dozen or so shots where the skin and fur sim was groomed or just folded in a way that really REALLY looked like very furry lady genitals and buttholes by accident. The task (as typical with heavy CG shows) fell on 2D to paint out the offending articles where it was brought up and spotted. Daily reviews were constant awkward discussions of people plucking up the courage to point things like this out; 'does that look like a fanny to you?'" The veracity of the existence of this butthole hole cut is obviously up for debate, but the folks at XVP Comedy have seen fit to bring it to life, and I'm sure I don't need to tell you, it's rather horrifying. Check it out above and despair for humanity.