”Amber Heard”
Buy JOHN CARPENTER’S THE WARD here!
One of the coolest things about Scream Queens is that, for the most part, they look like the average girl next door. I’m not gonna take away the hotness of Danielle Harris or Jamie Lee Curtis (in her prime), but they’re usually not so unbelievably hot that they could also pass as supermodels. But that isn’t the case for the ridiculously hotness that is Amber Heard, who, for all intents and purposes, may be one of the hottest women working in Hollywood today. And lucky for us, she likes to work in the horror genre, making her a bonafide modern day Scream Queen. So without beating around the bush, let’s just dive right into it (that’s what she said) and take a look at the rising career to date of wonderfully sexy Amber Heard!
BEST WORK
For a career that kick-started less than 10 years ago, Heard has made quite a name for herself by picking some really awesome stuff to star in… which means there is even better stuff yet to come! But hell, who needs better when we’re talkin’ about the likes of such fine genre classics as DRIVE ANGRY, where Heard holds her own alongside Nicolas Cage, rockin’ the finest pair of daisy dukes ever worn on screen, all while driving the most muscle-bound car you’ve ever seen. And she does it all with such ferocious talent that makes the whole entertaining ride that is DRIVE ANGRY all that much better. She’s also in the first little bit of ZOMBIELAND as the girl next door to Jesse Eisenberg, and the first real zombie interaction his character has. Not a big role, but an effective and memorable one, and hell… ZOMBIELAND is such a great movie!
And while I wouldn’t call it a great movie (more like just a decent one), she also starred in JOHN CARPENTER’S THE WARD alongside previous dissected Scream Queen Danielle Panabaker. While there is all kinds of hotness in this movie, Heard is the lead and carries the movie as well as she could… and she looks great on the poster art! And finally, she starred in a little thriller called AND SOON THE DARKNESS, featuring her and Odette Yustman hanging out in bikinis and enjoying their vacation until events turn horrendously wrong. Not a perfect movie by any stretch, but a solid little horror/thriller warning against the dangers of two young (and incredibly beautiful) women going on vacation alone. While THE WARD and AND SOON THE DARKNESS aren’t her best work, there’s no way I could classify them as ‘worst’ of anything.
WORST WORK
What I can classify as worst though is the one blemish on Heard’s resume that probably seemed like a good idea at the time, or maybe the studio threw a crap load of money at her that she simply couldn’t turn down (and who can blame her), but THE STEPFATHER remake is one horrendous piece of PG-13 trash. To Heard’s credit though, she does a good job at a) looking hot, b) being the hot girlfriend, c) hanging out in a bikini (top and/or bottom) in 90% of the scenes she’s in, and d) for delivering a performance of terror that was more or less believable . Actually, the fact that they had her in a bikini for most of her screen time is pretty awesome, maybe THE STEPFATHER should be classified as a work of genius! No, but seriously, what a scare-less, predictable, pointless, boring, and all-around forgettable remake.
TRADEMARKS
Buy AND SOON THE DARKNESS here!
Heard tends to play strong women, women who can take charge without needing a man around to save her, and it’s that strength that makes her hot. Well, that and she’s about a 10 in the looks department. But beyond just being supermodel hot (which is saying a lot considering how many supermodels are out there), she’s also a solid actress who can go from playing the girl next door (zombified style) to a hard-nosed badass, and does both incredibly well. Plus, in real life, she seems to be a cool chick who’s down to Earth, unlike many rising star hotties of her generation.
HIDDEN GEM
Buy ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE here!
The case of ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE is a strange one. Made in 2006, it’s the film that essentially launcher her career into movies, and seemed to make her instantly popular… at least, those who have actually seen it. The film made its rounds to film festivals upon its release and was received positively from just about everyone, yet… the f*cking movie still has yet to find US distribution. Internationally, the film has been out for 5 years now and is probably available in the bargain bin DVD section, but here in the US… no dice. Which is a shame because all I’ve heard about this flick is a) how freaking awesome it is, and b) how freaking hot (and totally awesome) Heard is. I mean, it’s about a bunch of guys who essentially stoop to murder just for a chance to nail Heard… of course she’s gonna nothing less than smokin’ hot! I heard rumblings that it may find a US release soon, so hopefully that happens and we can behold MANDY LANE for the great little film that it is.
NEXT PROJECT
When you’re a megababe like Heard, you’re never looking for work. She has a bunch of genre flicks coming out this year and next, including the thriller THREE DAYS TO KILL, PARANOIA, and the one I’m probably looking forward to the most, MACHETE KILLS. While the other two sound cool enough, and with Heard starring I’ll be seeing them for sure, MACHETE KILLS is high on my anticipation list for a few reasons. One, if anyone can accentuate Heard’s f*cking hotness, it’s director Robert Rodriguez. Seriously, the guy knows how to shoot his lead women so they look like they’re in a Maxim photoshoot in every frame they’re in. Heard in front of Rodriguez’ lens? F*ck yeah. And two, I’m a big fan of MACHETE and can’t wait to see Danny Trejo back in action, f*ckin’ sh*t like, bangin’ hot chicks, and sticking it to the man. It sounds like too much fun to pass up!
OVERALL
There are Scream Queens and then there are Scream Queens and Amber Heard is the crème of the crop. She’s probably the hottest actress working in the genre right now (I dare you to find someone hotter), and has more solid movies under her belt than bad ones. And let’s face it, for the Heard factor alone… THE STEPFATHER is actually a f*cking fantastic movie, as the camera loves her bikini in every scene she’s in (even though the rest of the movie is straight-up garbage). Given, she does more than just horror (PINEAPPLE EXPRESS, THE RUM DIARY), but what makes her even cooler is that she continues to return to the genre even though she could easily live on in more mainstream shit. If you haven’t had a taste of Heard yet and aren’t willing to wait around for MANDY LANE, take on DRIVE ANGRY and behold why Heard is so excruciatingly amazeballs.