All right, so let’s get one thing straight; this shit is NOT cool. It’s not newsworthy either, but I’ve got to share this with you if for no other reason than just to have someone else confirm what my eyeballs just witnessed and my brain is still trying to process.
This trailer for DOGGIE B, which is a REAL movie, is so jaw-droppingly stupid that I had to watch it twice to see if I missed the joke. The trailer (and the film, no doubt) is the textbook definition of a cliche-ridden concept.
Just…just…watch this:
So, pretty much, I’m thinking this thing might be like the video in THE RING. You might want to have someone else watch it to lift the curse, since I just passed it on to you.
Here’s the really f*cked up part; this thing is being released in theaters. The same ones where they play real movies. If anything, this trailer should serve as inspiration for you aspiring filmmakers out there; if they can do it, you sure as hell can. And yes, I’m well aware that this is for kids, but if I caught my kid watching this I would wash his eyes out with A CLOCKWORK ORANGE for weeks and make him write an essay on the difference between good family entertainment and bad family entertainment, 50,000 word minimum.
Doggie B comes to theaters August 31st, 2012 and stars Jesse Draper, Bettina Devin, Jane Wiedlin, Patrick Alan Davis, Scott Cox, Barbara Tintori, Erica Gerard, Constance Hasapopoulos. The film is directed by Romanus Wolter. I’m sure they’re all very proud.