Feeling full of horrific holiday cheer but convinced you’re tapped out when it comes to ghoulish Christmas flicks? Then we bring your attention to this ghastly lump of coal that’s sure to put a little-kid smile on your kisser: ELVES!
You’ll be forgiven if you’re not familiar with this one; it’s not readily available on DVD or Blu-ray, but thanks to a jolly old soul on Youtube, we can watch the entire movie for free. (Just check it out before it’s taken down!) It’s fairly unappreciated, and for good reason: It’s terrible and ridiculous and completely laughable. All in good ways!
The movie is about a group of neo-Nazis who want to fulfill Hitler’s dream of creating a race of half-human/half-Elves. No, not joking. Dan Haggerty stars as a washed-up ex-cop who plays Santa in a department store and is the only hope to stop this abominable plot. I can’t really even describe things any further; you wouldn’t believe me.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you ELVES. Merry f*ckin’ Christmas!