Cue up the dueling banjos, grab a wad of chewin' tabakie, and lace up your best running shoes, my friends, because Constantin Films is plotting a remake of the 2003 West Virginia cannibal horror WRONG TURN. Now, iffin' you're of the mind that we've already done seen plenty of WRONG TURN sequels, allow me to wee your doggies by informin' you that Alan McElroy, the franchise's original creator, is poised to widdle the script. Furthermore, Mike P. Nelson (THE DOMESTICS, THE GOODBYE) will direct, which sounds to me like a mighty fine choice.
Iffin' you've never laid eyes on the WRONG TURN series of films, you might want to have a listen to what I'm about to say next. In the WRONG TURN pictures, a variety of deformed and cannibalistic families hunt and kill trespassers in West Virginia. Each movie features a variety of sweet kills orchestrated by some of the ugliest backwoods beasts you ever did see, and they're not afraid to make a meal out of even your most private of parts. The first film of the series starred starred Eliza Dushku, Jeremy Sisto and Emmanuelle Chriqui, which made close to $30 million at the worldwide box office. You could buy a lot of pickup trucks with that amount of scratch, I tell you what.
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Accordin' to Deadline Hollywood, the updated version is described as a timely and topical meditation on society and its issues. A cross-country hiking expedition puts a group of friends in the land of an inclusive society, where they soon discover they are under a different rule of law, and may not be the victims they thought they were. Aw shucks. It sounds as if the Brads, Chads, and Felicias of the world are about to learn a deadly lesson in "this land is my land" politickin'. Personally, I'm hoping that at least one of them is strangled to death using the arms of a cardigan sweater. Or, make them eat their smart phone. Actually, make them eat all the smart phones, and watch them squirm at the technological shrapnel rips their insides to shreds. What? Too much?
In talking about his excitement for the project, producer Robert Kulzer said, “Alan’s re -interpretation of his own work and Mike’s vision are a frightening reflection of our world today: one person’s American dream is another’s worst nightmare.”
We'll be sure to keep y'all informed about the details of this project as they come about. In the meantime, October is the perfect month to go back and re-watch the WRONG TURN series, all six of 'em!