C’MON HOLLYWOOD: Stop selling out on Horror!

…stop selling out on Horror!
by J.A. Hamilton

I’m no Arrow (but then again, there can be only one) but I too need my regular Horror fix. Lately though, the battle for quality over quantity has been a losing one. My biggest complaint outside of watering Horror movies down via rating and unbecoming remakes is when we get teased by a worthwhile concept that makes for a killer flick like THE DESCENT for example, only to wind up with an encore that puts the “horror” in horrible but for all the wrong reasons. I’m not against sequels, but what I can’t stand are straight to DVD (or sometimes even theatrical) continuations of great films that completely ignore the source material that made them fantastic and end up destroying everything that made these films work in the first place.

Why the shitty sequel…WHY!?

Now because of this sad precedent, we Horror fans have to sometimes slip under the radar to find greatness. Yes, though I mentioned I dislike straight to DVD continuations that shame their predecessors, I will wholeheartedly assure you that this does not mean straight to DVD Horror flicks are all awful, far from it in fact. FEAST was one hell of a good time and one of the best straight to DVD Horror flicks I’ve ever watched. What made the concept fun and original was the comedic aspect of things brought home by the character bios that would pop up on screen when a new character was introduced. I laughed my ass off, but the laughter turned to tears when I got hold of the next instalment and found mediocrity instead of entertainment. I won’t even get into part 3 or the rumour of a 4 on the way.

I strongly recommend the first one.

There are legions of these films to found these days; BOOGEYMAN is another series that went too far in my opinion and whoever decided ANACONDA needed a fourth instalment should be stripped down naked, covered in honey and fed to snakes. What really gets me going is when you decide to make a sequel to THE CELL,THE RING or God spare us all, THE LOST BOYS and AMERICAN PSYCHO, the part of me that isn’t mortified hopes and prays for something of interest. THE CELL 2 was terribly lazy and came off as a silly serial killer flick. The second RING movie abandoned the original concept for something else entirely, severely hurting the story. They should never have touched LOST BOYS (RIP Corey Haim), and though I love Mila Kunis, a small part of me died inside while watching AMERICAN PSYCHO 2.

I hope the snakes ate Hasselhoff.

Again, it’s not as easy as pointing the finger at sequels and saying” they’re the problem”, nor can we simply blame direct to DVD fare. The SAW franchise is still hitting theatres every October and though I personally enjoy them, many people feel these continuations belong in my previous paragraph. And these theatrical ones can get hit just as hard by this problem, look at THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, a pretty solid remake, but then the awful continuation THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSCRE: THE BEGINNING came along. Granted, I enjoyed seeing how that hillbilly “became” a sheriff (it never did add up for me), but all in all that film was terrible and completely ruined what the remake was trying to do. FRIDAY THE 13th was a solid remake and here’s hoping that the next one does it justice and my fingers are also crossed for THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET re-launch.

The poster looked cool…

Horror seems to go through the ringer far too often for my liking (or maybe I’m a little more sensitive to it because of my love for the genre), either way I feel that for every solid step forward, Horror (and Horror fans) get donkey punched a good five steps back. Suspension of disbelief can be a fickle thing, especially when it comes to monsters, supernatural elements and or regular human beings performing acts of a superhuman nature. Be that as it may, we Horror fans love the ride and despite these bumps in the road we keep coming back for more. I just wish a little more TLC could be mixed into the corn syrup and pig’s blood to show us that the fans are appreciated and being looked after. Because I’m sorry, with everything that’s going wrong in Hollywood these days, taking away from the Horror pool is one thing that truly hits home for me and I hope I’m not the only one.