C’mon Hollywood #233

Where have all the nude scenes gone?
by J.A. Hamilton

Nudity and sex have always played a special role in the world of cinema, especially for us men. While women (who I admit get the short of the stick in this regard) debate the question of “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob”, us guys are imagining what it would be like to see Bella get tag-teamed by Edward’s two sisters (at least that’s what I was thinking during TWILIGHT and NEW MOON). I can’t deny that giddy feeling in the pit of my stomach when a hot female actress decides to show some skin, there are plenty of DVDs in my collection that are there for THAT reason alone (why the hell else would I buy EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE). But lately, the battle of the flesh is being flaunted more so on TV than in movies.

Shows like DEADWOOD, TRUE BLOOD, DEXTER, MASTERS OF HORROR, CALIFORNICATION and so many others took me by surprise at first; these TV shows began to embody all that things I’ve grown to love about Hollywood films, and as far as nudity is concerned, are running the risk of becoming superior on some levels. Ok, so the bulk of these shows air on HBO, THE MOVIE NETWORK and SHOWTIME (networks that don’t hold back), but they’re still considered TV shows by all accounts and have risen up in the eyes of audiences everywhere and are giving movies a run for their money in the area of sex appeal.

Lately it feels like a big deal when an actress bares all, which in part is because it doesn’t happen nearly as often as it used to. Films in the eighties and nineties loved to squeeze a nice set of breasts into a film (at any given moment) for no other reason than to say “hello!” This happened during a car chase in TANGO AND CASH, a fist fight between Arny and one of the bad guys in COMMANDO and then when Sly randomly turns on his TV in DEMOLITION MAN, to name but a few. We don’t see much of that anymore (I’ve seen it more often lately in Indie/Cannes flicks), so when Jessica Biel decides to hit the stage or Moon Bloodgood decides to undress in the rain, suddenly us guys are all wide-eyed and at attention.

Sex and nudity seemed to be in abundance and going strong when BASIC INSTINCT was all the rage. Before that, Mickey Rourke had a slew of soft core porn flicks like 9 ½ weeks and WILD ORCHID. I remember Kim Basinger gave us a nice show in THE GETAWAY and I could always count on Monica Belucci to put a smile on my face (her beautiful bombshells were an added bonus in flicks like BRAM STOKERS DRACULA and BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF). Then SHOWGIRLS came out and made nudity feel so wrong and dirty, f*cking things up for everyone. So much so, the boys behind SWORDFISH had to bribe Hally Berry with an obscene amount of cash to show us her guns. God love them.

As I pointed out in my column about the question of TV showing up movies, I’m not trying to make this out to be a war between them, as to me, they’re both separate venues but still exist on the same playing field. I’m merely trying to say that it feels a little weird seeing the tables turn on the issues of nudity and sex. The PG-13 era (one of the culprits in my mind) is stealing some of key elements we know and love about movies. That said, a film doesn’t need to have nudity and sexuality to be great, but it would be nice to Hollywood keep the dream alive in movies especially when it’s being splashed all over these TV networks like it’s no big deal.