C’mon Hollywood #150

… enough with the TV show remakes!
by Sturdy

“New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.” – Bill Maher

I’ve had this complaint for a while, but I’ve hesitated writing about it. I kept hoping that the next TV remake was going to be fun, but after getting let down numerous times, and hearing about upcoming projects, I’ve given up hope. Remaking old TV shows into movies just doesn’t work. Not that much effort is being put into making them, but even if you have some talent involved, the film is still doomed for failure. Before I go on, I want to distinguish between continuing a show with movies and remaking a TV show into a movie. Continuing a series like SIMPSONS, SEX AND THE CITY or X-FILES is perfectly fine. In fact, in most cases it’s preferred. I would love to see a LOST or SOPRANOS movie.

This was the best thing about the Hazzard movie.

However, that’s not what this is about. What I’m asking for is for Hollywood to stop making old TV shows into movies. I thought we were slowing down after the painful experience of DUKES OF HAZZARD and MIAMI VICE, but with the never-ending rumors about the A-TEAM movie (among others), I think the trend is here to stay. At least until we’ve covered every TV show from the 70’s and 80’s. I’m not sure why Hollywood is so obsessed with TV shows, but I’m assuming they think that if they throw something together and slap a recognizable name on the front, the movie will probably make money. I’d love to say they’re wrong, but people still go see them, probably the same people that made MEET THE SPARTANS number one at the box office.

Yeah, I don’t see this working as a film, no matter who is starring in it.

Now is the time to stop remaking TV shows into films. I know MAGNUM P.I. is being tossed around and there are some other temptations out there, but enough is enough. The people that liked MAGNUM P.I. and the A-TEAM back in the 80’s, are now pushing 30 and 40 years old. We liked Tom Selleck and George Peppard, but we’re not going to like whatever O.C. reject they cast in their roles now. Granted, I was curious with Clooney attached to both of those projects, but I seriously doubt he’ll actually do it. If Clooney is going to do any TV character from the 80’s, then I want him to be Willie Tanner in an ALF movie. HA! (I hope it’s obvious I’m kidding)

I bet the theme song is already stuck in your head.

I know a lot of people get upset with the casting in these remakes and I can’t say I blame them. THE HONEYMOONERS was the worst of the bunch, but was anyone happy with Johnny Knoxville and Sean William Scott? And I don’t even know what’s going on with DALLAS. Luckily I wasn’t a fan of the show to begin with. The list goes on, but like I said, they’re not even trying anymore. It’s more about who they can get for cheap and how fast they can get it in theatres. Also, is there some kind of rule that every star of a TV show remake be under 30 years old? Younger doesn’t always mean better. Ugghh, I sound like my parents.

I don’t even know what to say about this

As a fan of old TV shows, I sometimes get excited when I read about an old show making its way to the big screen. But no matter what the film, they’ve always turned out to be a big disappointment. Whether they’re trying to make an action series a comedy, or they pick a horrible cast, something always goes wrong. Enough with the TV show remakes. Let’s put some faith and trust into all the young screenwriters out there that have original ideas. Now’s the time to make a new batch of heroes, not rehash old ones.