C’mon Hollywood #124

… make a G.I. Joe movie!
by Sturdy

I know, I know, before you laugh at how corny and ridiculous a live action G.I Joe movie could be, give it a chance. Everything else is being made into a movie these days, why not make a movie out of every boy’s favorite action figures? Sure, the movie probably wouldn’t compete for any Academy Awards, but there’s plenty of material there to make a fun summer blockbuster. Besides, they made a TRANSFORMERS movie, and they’re remaking a He-Man movie. If they can manage to make those movies cool, and I’m not sure they can, then a G.I. Joe movie should be a breeze.

Everybody loves Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow!

Maybe I’m a little biased because I really got into G.I. Joes as a kid. I had to have every figure in every set and I even read the G.I. Joe comics. If you want to see a cool site that lists all the figures with pictures, check this out. I was looking through those comics a while ago and they came up with some pretty original storylines, especially dealing with Snake-eyes and Stormshadow. I loved the storyline that had Storm Shadow dying, then coming back as a good guy. I know the cartoons and comics continue today, although I have no idea what’s going on in the G.I. Joe universe anymore.

I thought 6 Sigma was a statistical approach to improving quality in a business environment…no?

The real challenge would be how to make the movie loyal to the figures and comic books and not be completely cheesy. My suggestion would be to pick a dozen or so of the most popular figures and stick with those. Of course, that would bring up another problem, which is how do you pick which ones to put in the movie? I know all the G.I. Joe fans out there have their own favorite characters (mine were Jinx and Hit-and-Run) that would be disappointed if their favorite didn’t make the cut. But then again, that’s why man invented sequels.

So does anyone know if Storm Shadow is currently good or bad?

I still see G.I. Joe figures in the toy isle at Toys R’ Us and Wal-Mart, so I’m assuming there’s still an audience for them. However, if they do decide to do a G.I. Joe movie, I hope they do it right. I don’t want them to piece some crap together with a bunch of b-movie actors just to sell a few figures. I figure they’re guaranteed to at least sell a few million figures off of the movie but that’s not an excuse to throw crap on the screen.

Do you remember the G.I. Joe animated movie? I remember liking it at the time, but trying to watch it now is rough. It feels like an 80-minute toy commercial. I know they can do better than that. It seems like there’s been a G.I. Joe movie in the Hollywood rumor mill for a long time. At one time, even Marky Mark himself was attached to a version. And don’t even get me started on the latest draft of the script. If TRANSFORMERS proves to be successful, then I think it would pave the way for a G.I. Joe movie in the future. Here’s hoping they stick with the old school storylines and forget about the new stuff.