Categories: Movie Reviews

Classified Review: Where’s the Action?!

PLOT: A career CIA hitman who’s been solely using the classified section of various newspapers to receive his orders suddenly discovers that his division’s actually been shut down for years.

REVIEW: As of late, Aaron Eckhart has been making a career starring in these low-budget action flicks. Decidedly more focused on the conversations versus actual bombastic action, this is what I’d refer to as a “wait and see” action movie. The action beats are over just as fast as they begin, and it’s much more about the setup. This is clearly due to budget constraints but also a bit of creative laziness, as it gets quite shocking with how little is actually happening. I’ll give you three guesses as to which type of action film Classified is…

Eckhart stars as Evan Shaw, a CIA hitman who is told that his division has actually been shut down for years and he’s been taking orders from a mysterious third party. Shaw checks all the boxes of a movie hitman: he recently met the love of his life and wants to leave the business. Only the business clearly won’t let him leave. Have you heard this one about a million times before? I won’t dog Eckhart’s acting as I’m not sure I’ve seen the guy deliver a bad performance but he clearly needs to pick better scripts as Shaw is about as one-dimensional as possible. Then there’s Abigail Breslin, who appears in what is essentially the plucky sidekick role. She’s good with computers and everything else you would expect from this stereotype on two legs.

Tim Roth also shows up, and it may just be the most stereotypical role possible. Just the mere casting of Roth in the part makes the script all the more predictable. And it doesn’t help that he’s practically sleepwalking through his role. Breslin is also done no favors by the script and her character is tasked with a ton of exposition right when introduced. She feels like she’s in an entirely different movie at times. And her connections with MI6 are about as silly as you’d imagine.

The action always feels so disconnected from itself. Bad guys may be shooting but it doesn’t even feel like it’s in the same scene as our actors. Most of the time it’s just Eckhart and Breslin hurriedly walking away from the bad people. There’s never any moment where it feels like Shaw is in charge of the situation. Hell, I wouldn’t even call him a good hitman. Maybe a lucky one. There’s so much coincidence having to occur that it’s hard to see Shaw as some kind of genius.

I took some solace in the fact that Classified is pretty well shot. I’m a sucker for a shallow depth of field and there’s rarely a flat shot. But there’s this dumb soft, overexposed filter on the flashback sequences that make the film look amateurish in parts. This really clashes with some of the gorgeous European visuals. The technical side is so well done makes everything else going on make less sense. Classified is a mess no matter what way you cut it. With actors that look like they don’t want to be there and action that feels more suited for television, this is a pretty miserable experience. Add in one of the most generic stories about a hitman possible and it’s hard to see how this was ever supposed to succeed.

CLASSIFIED IS AVAILABLE TO BUY OR RENT ON DIGITAL OCTOBER 22, 2024.

Classified

TERRIBLE

3
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Published by
Tyler Nichols