Categories: Movie Reviews

Borderlands Review

PLOT: A bounty hunter named Lilith (Cate Blanchett) is hired to retrieve the daughter  (Ariana Greenblatt) of a tycoon who’s hiding out on a dangerous world, Pandora, with an elite former soldier, Roland (Kevin Hart) and a deranged muscleman, Krieg (Florian Munteanu).

REVIEW: Borderlands has been one of the most infamous would-be summer blockbusters in a while. Initially filmed in 2021, when it was shot before Cate Blanchett’s Oscar-nominated role in Tar, the film ended up going in for some significant reshoots with Deadpool director Tim Miller filling in for original helmer Eli Roth, who went off to shoot the well-received Thanksgiving. Given that Roth retains sole directorial credit and has been front-and-center in the movie’s publicity campaign, it’s hard to say definitely what was or wasn’t part of his original concept of the movie. Still, I imagine this seam-laden misfire wasn’t it.

I should note that I’ve never played the Borderlands games and am not particularly familiar with the world depicted here. I went into this as a movie fan, and despite the bad buzz, I was optimistic the film would at least be entertaining. While I haven’t loved all of Roth’s movies, I think he’s a good director, and his films are never boring. Well, until now anyway (although – again – is it his movie?).

Truly, this is a disaster. With its classic rock soundtrack and, eye-popping colour palette, and eccentric cast of characters, it feels like a Guardians of the Galaxy clone, albeit without any of that film’s charm or vision. Roth’s original cut might have been edgier, or at least more interesting, but as it is, Borderlands is to Guardians of the Galaxy and (another movie it seems heavily patted after) Fury Road, as Solarbabies is to The Road Warrior. Heck, that’s an insult to Solarbabies because at least that movie was fun. This is just a hacked-up mess anchored by a miscast lead in Cate Blanchett.

While a dazzling actress, she’s not a natural action heroine. Were she to have gotten better material here, she maybe could have done something, but she’s stuck with a stock anti-hero role, with her the hard-bitten bounty hunter who never – for a second – seems as ruthless as the other characters treat her throughout. Complete with hair flips, Blanchett almost appears to be sending up action roles but doesn’t bring her normal gravitas to a part for which she looks ill-suited. 

However, Lilith is only one of the rather dull band of heroes the film centers around. Kevin Hart plays his action-driven role straight-laced, with him not even cracking a smile. He comes off as someone badly trying to be convincing in an against-type part, but they could have hit some middle ground and let some of his humour (you know – the thing that made him famous) shine through a bit. Hidden behind a mask, Creed 2’s Florian Munteanu, in a role that seems like it’s trying to be this movie’s Drax, isn’t able to make much of an impression, while Jack Black’s voiceover as the robot, Claptrap, wears out its welcome in minutes. As a scientist, they pick up on the way; Jamie Lee Curtis seems to be trying to introduce some eccentricity into her part. Still, I couldn’t help but think that, despite her age, she and Blanchett should have switched roles, as Curtis would be a much better Lilith (if Liam Neeson could do action films in his seventies, Curtis could do them in her sixties). 

Ariana Greenblatt, as Tiny Tina, the pyromaniac kidnapped child, seems to be having more fun than anyone. However, given she noticeably ages throughout the film, she is the one who makes the reshoots the most obvious. The first scene in the movie, where she meets Roland and Krieg, seems like a dead giveaway, with her seeming a lot older there than later.

Other things to suggest a lot of post-production tinkering went into the film include the copious amount of narration (always a dead giveaway) for Blanchett and how the CGI varies from being good to seeming like a bargain basement add-on. At least it only runs about 100 minutes, but even that felt too long, with the episodic action-adventure wearing itself out fast. It should also be noted that Edgar Ramirez, who can be terrific, is saddled with the dullest villain role since Madame Web, and the score by Steve Jablonsky feels too close to what we’ve seen in a million other sci-fi action movies. 

Is there anything about Borderlands that works? Other than a welcome appearance by Gina Gershon, who chews some scenery (and is still a knockout), not really, with this one of the worst big-budget movies I’ve seen in a while. It seems like it will be barely a blip in the filmographies of Blanchett and Hart, with Roth already re-shifting his focus towards horror. It’s a movie that will be forgotten within weeks. Ultimately, that’s probably the best thing for everyone, as it’s a dud through and through. 

Borderlands

TERRIBLE

3
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Published by
Chris Bumbray