More Blair Witch? Really?
I remember sitting in my buddy’s basement a little under a decade ago, watching THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT for the thirtieth time, and thinking of how cool it would be for the filmmakers to revisit this story in 5-10 years. How awesome would it be, I thought, if Josh, Mike, and Heather just walked out of the woods and told us all about the horrifying events they teased us with during their unfinished documentary years ago. And maybe let us know where the hell they’ve been. Believe me when I say I was waist-deep in the hype surrounding this film. The groundbreaking viral campaign was not lost on this wide-eyed little fanboy. And yes, at one point I even believed it was all real. Who would lie on the internet?
Then they released BLAIR WITCH 2: BOOK OF SHADOWS and slapped me in the nuts so fast and hard they swung around my ass and took my pecker by surprise on the other side. As much as I love the original film, the sequel was just bad. Like, EXORCIST-II-bad. I understand the need for a quick follow-up when the first film in your potential franchise grossed close to $250 million worldwide. What I don’t understand is how the studio can release a film so putridly disappointing and ruin any chance of a potential franchise from a film that grossed close to $250 million worldwide. Give any 5-year-old in the world a lemonade stand and they’ll come up with a better business plan than this.
So last week (read it here) comes the news that the team that brought us the original film, Dan Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez, have been thinking about returning to their story and “….doing a film that takes place in the late 1700s and looks like a [Stanley] Kubrick movie with gritty looking people and lighting…” Thankfully, the subliminal Nobody-Wants-To-See-That Fairy paid them a visit and “….now, we’re thinking about going back and and seeing what happened directly after the first film finished.” As for the three leads returning, Myrick told BBC News: “I talk to Josh quite regularly and Mike Williams as well. Actually, he had a role in my last movie. Heather, I haven’t seen in years.” Please, don’t let the irony of his last sentence pass you by.
Maybe it’s the booze talking but THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. There’s already tons of shit attached to this film that I could care less about (books, video games, comics, aforementioned unbearable sequel), don’t bury it any more than it already is. I’ve come full circle on this bitch. Leave her alone.