Bloodsucking Bastards (Movie Review)

Last Updated on July 22, 2021

PLOT: Evan is a hard working employee selling odds and ends to gullible people. When business isn’t quite what it should be, he is turned down for a promotion which is given to an old nemesis of his. Things get even more difficult when his co-workers find themselves fighting off a monstrous and supernatural entity. As if working in a sales office wasn’t bad enough.

REVIEW: Creating a satisfying mix of horror and comedy is tough. Oftentimes they come off as far too silly to really be effective. This is somewhat true for the wonderfully titled BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS. The genre mashup has a few fun ideas up its blood-soaked sleeve. There is definitely some funny office humor mixed in, and yes, perhaps a little bit of gooey fun. It also features an engaging cast and a truly entertaining final act. Unfortunately it is a bit of a choir getting to the final over-the-top ending. However, you have to give them some credit for smart casting and a joyful commitment to exploding bodies and buckets of blood.

Fran Kranz stars as Evan, a young man stuck in a mind numbing phone sales job. His best pal Tim (Joey Kern) is a bit of a slacker. And worse than that, his girlfriend Amanda (Emma Fitzpatrick) is a bit ticked off thanks to an uncomfortable date gone wrong. Things couldn’t get any worse for Evan… or can they? After losing his promotion to an old nemesis Max (Pedro Pascal), he finds that a number of changes are happening in the office. And we are not just talking typical hires and fires, the regulars are becoming far more productive and possibly dead. Soon, the entire office is filled with imitations of his old friends, and he may be next in line for the kind of promotion you don’t want to get.

If you don’t want to know the deadly secret that the office hides, then you may want to skip the next paragraph. One type of monster that seems to always fall into the comedy horror mix is the vampire. And sometimes it can be absolutely marvelous. You have Tom Holland’s brilliant FRIGHT NIGHT. And then on the other end of the spectrum you have something like VAMPIRES SUCK. BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS falls somewhere in between. The portrayal of office politics offers up a few entertaining elements. As far as the vampire theme goes, it isn’t terrible in any way. Sadly though, it all feels like it was borrowed from other, better vampire flicks or television shows. From Buffy to THE LOST BOYS, all of it is done here more for comedic sake. Sure the blood explodes everywhere, including one great final gag, but it’s all much too familiar.

As predictable and recycled as this may feel, you can’t help but entertain in this cast. Both Fran Kranz and Emma Fitzpatrick make for a satisfying horror couple. As well, you have strong support from the villainous Pascal, plus the rest of the office including Joel Murray, Justin Ware, Marshall Givens and Yvette Yates. It was especially fun to see slacker pal Kern steal nearly every scene he was in. Much like he did in CABIN FEVER, the actor made me laugh several times. He handles the comedic horror especially well, and frankly, I wanted to hang out with this character. Why is this guy not a bigger star?

BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS is a light – probably too light – comedic horror film that borrows from many other similarly themed tales before. Thankfully there are a number of scenes that inspire a smile or two, and the ending is a whole mess of bloody fun. It may not be the best of its kind, but everybody involved clearly entertained in the horrors of office work mixed with the undead. And yes, every time Joey Kern was in the picture I had a blast watching whatever nonsense he came up with. It may not be nearly as funny as it could have been, and too much of it feels familiar, but it certainly is a decent watch. Hell, this is worth a watch just for that final twenty minutes of red and dead mayhem. BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS is currently playing in limited release and VOD.