Your girlfriend just dumped you because she caught you using corn on the cob as a replica for your penis. You involved your cob in an epic battle to save an imaginary world in which the love of your life (a photo of Jessica Alba) is at risk, and in which your hand-made lasers are futile. Your world is crumbling, your mom burnt the mashed potatoes, and the Atlanta Braves just lost game seven. If the photo below doesn’t cheer you up, please murder your brother.