Bird On a Wire

A serviceable road/action movie featuring a few solid chase sequences, a believable love/hate relationship between the two leads spicing things up (“Moonlighting”-esque) and Goldie Hawn’s great asss!!! Seriously though…she’s got great legs too and the film doesn’t want us to forget either one, with Hawn in a short skirt at every turn (thank you, Mr. Badham). But how many shots of Ms. Hawn climbing up some stairs with someone staring right up her dress do we need to “endure”, before Kurt Russell comes in and starts kickin’ some ass!?! But I digress…

Yes, the movie. The movie was “okay” enough for what it was: a decent bit of enjoyable fare offering very little unique or future value to anyone who watches it. What do I mean? Well, there were scenes in this movie which I literally forgot about, a minute or so after having seen them. It’s just not very deep, folks, but then again, that’s not what it’s aiming for.

It’s aiming for a “harmless good time” and I guess if that’s what you’re looking for, you could do worse (woo-hoo, now is that a solid endorsement or what?!). I would’ve liked to have had a little more meat on them bones, and really didn’t enjoy the final 15-20 minute showdown in the zoo (it just seemed to go on forever and do we really need to see the great Bill Duke get mauled by a tiger…c’mon!!), but overall, it does what it does and it does it pretty okay, I guess (there’s another one!).

But there’s fun to be had here as well. Other than the aforementioned ass-shots of Hawn (and let’s not forget those great, luscious legs!), the ladies get a shot of that Gibson ass (which to be honest, was a little disappointing to me– too much hair, dammit!) and everyone gets Joan Severence looking darn sexy, once again. Growl!!

But if you want to see a really good movie in the same vein, rent MIDNIGHT RUN with Robert DeNiro and Charles Grodin. Not only is it MUCH funnier and MORE INTERESTING, it also has a little bit of heart. This film didn’t take the time to invest much into its script because it was probably too busy hiring a make-up man to powder-puff Goldie Hawn’s great looking assss!!! (or have I mentioned that already?)

Smoke ’em if you got ’em, kids!

PS: My biggest dilemma after having watched this movie was trying to figure out who I’d rather bone if I were set up with either Goldie Hawn or her daughter, Kate Hudson (leave me along…I’m dreaming!). Tough call…I’d have to go with the mom though…more experience…then again, Gibson looked pretty good in the early LETHAL WEAPON flicks…

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian