Beyond the Wall: This Week on Game of Thrones (S3 Episode 8/ May 19, 2013)

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

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EPISODE 8: Second Sons

THE PLOT : The long summer is at an end, winter truly is coming and with it the cold winds of war as five self proclaimed Kings claim dominance over Westeros, but there can be only one winner when you play the game of thrones.

THE LOWDOWN: (The following column contains MAJOR SPOILERS, so I don’t recommend reading this if you haven’t watched this episode). With start out with Arya and the Hound. What an unlikely union that is. Can you imagine if she’d actually caved in his skull with that rock? No doubt she fought the urge something fierce. His defending of Sansa is a noble action, but bragging it up to Arya isn’t going to win him any points. I’m glad Stannis came to his senses and released Davos (that rock dragon is so win). He’s a noble character, they both are. Stannis is hard headed, sure, but you can tell he wants to do the right thing. Davos too, he’s just a bit more outspoken. Both are afraid of Melisandre because they have no knowledge of magic (and they don’t trust it), but both have seen its power firsthand—I’m sure Davos will remember the tar demon shooting out of her pee-hole till the end of his days. Gendry’s kinda stuck in the middle, but at least he got some sexy time before the leeches came out.

Talk about the most awkward wedding arrangement in history and that still won’t come close to the shenanigans going on in King’s Landing. Where to start? Tyrion isn’t enjoying himself one bit, but at least he’s getting epically drunk. His showdown with Joffrey was intense. The look in his eyes said it all. Great save by Tywin, but Joffrey really outdid himself tonight with the bedroom threats and taking it upon himself to walk Sansa down the aisle (I wish Ned would’ve pulled a Patrick Swayze double feature by showing up Ghost-style followed by a Road House neck ripping. Yes, I played it out in my head). Maybe it’s the booze talking all around tonight, but damn, Cercei was a vicious bitch to Margaery. Cool story and all, but did anyone ever tell you it’s much more subtle if you don’t show your hand? I don’t think there’s any doubt in Margaery’s mind that Cercei hates her. I’m sure Loras got the point as well.

Daenerys is having one hell of a season. Dragon’s looking oober? Check. Racked up eight thousand junkless assassins. Check. Has a tendency to burn mofo’s who speak out against her. Check. And now, in the face of two thousand sell swords (the scene where she meets them is beyond priceless), one falls for her, shanks the other two and offers up himself and his crew. All in one night. And, he gets to oogle the goods. Well played sir. Basically, Dany just got herself a Bronn. If this Daario Naharis is even half as entertaining as Bronn, we’re all in for a quite a treat.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 3’s eighth episode is the calm before the storm of swords (had to, it was too easy). Kinda sucks balls that we have to wait two weeks for the next episode. What didn’t suck (though I wasn’t convinced at first) was tonight’s send off. Truth be known, Sam and Gilly share the most atrocious dialogue every written tonight. Winks and blinks? Sigh. That said, Sam the Slayer gets his moment to shine, and it’s worth his weight in gold. The leader of the white walkers looks badass. On the one hand, I hate seeing him go out by way of Sam, but the scene itself is gorgeous. The blade shattering, the obsidian dagger, it was a slow burn building up to it, but cool nonetheless. He’s still a useless as hell character, but every dog gets his day. Two episodes left.

SEX/NUDITY: : Melisandre and Gendry get it on…but like Theon, he doesn’t quite get the happy ending he expected. Daenerys also shows us the goods, ironically by getting out of a hot bath like the first time.

VIOLENCE: Do you hate leeches? Aside from those, and many a threat, we get a short showdown with Sam and the leader of the white walkers.

SHARPEST QUIP: There were many great lines tonight but it’s hard to beat out a drunk Tyrion with stuff like, “And so my watch begins” said to Sansa in regard to never sleeping her. Or, “I’m the god of tits and wine” to Tywin. Drunk Tyrion is the best.

MOST EPIC SCENE: I want to say the final scene with Sam, but I was infinitely impressed with Daenerys and how she handled the meeting with the Second Sons as well as the final showdown with Daario.

FINAL VERDICT :

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