Beyond the Wall: This Week on Game of Thrones (S3 Episode 5 / April 28, 2013)

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

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EPISODE 5: Kissed by Fire

THE PLOT : The long summer is at an end, winter truly is coming and with it the cold winds of war as five self proclaimed Kings claim dominance over Westeros, but there can be only one winner when you play the game of thrones.

THE LOWDOWN: (The following column contains MAJOR SPOILERS, so I don’t recommend reading this if you haven’t watched this episode). One of the great things about this show is being visually connected/introduced to these characters as they pop up. Sure, you might not remember everyone’s name, like Baric Dondarrion for example, but you’d think of him as “the guy with the patch”. Reading the books is quite different. Case in point, I don’t even remember the fight between him and the Hound, and I sure as hell didn’t remember him being brought back to life. Cool as hell fight though, the flaming sword was an especially nice touch. It’s heartbreaking seeing Arya ask about bringing her father back to life. If she were smart, she’s be hitting the priest up for some sword lessons to pass the time. I know I would.

I spoke too soon when I said they weren’t showing enough of Jamie and Brienne’s developing friendship. I was thinking of the bath scene that happened tonight, where Jamie tells her the hard truth about what happened during the war with the Mad King. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau continues to impress and show a great deal of range when given the spotlight. The speech last season where he snaps his cousin’s neck was phenomenal, and now this, tonight. Way to bring this character to life, brother. He puts his entire soul into Jamie Lannister and I for one thank him for it (oh, and as for the hand operation, DUDE, take the damn milk of the poppy). Tyrion and Granny Tyrell have a fun conversation about the cost of weddings and war. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tyrion at a loss for words, or outplayed by them. Granny’s got some major game.

We haven’t really seen much of Stannis and Melisandre, but tonight we get a peek at Stannis’ home life and well…I can see why the man spends so much time at sea. First red flag: Stannis: “Baby, I was unfaithful and stuff…” Selyse: “It’s cool, I wept tears of joy when I heard the news.” FYI, don’t try that shit at home fellas as I somehow doubt it’ll have the same effect. Red flag 2: This crazy bitch took a page out of The Governor’s playbook and decided it was a good idea to keep her dead babies in mason jars filled with water…by the fireplace in the living room. And you locked Davos up? Speaking of Davos, I love the Onion Knight, he was one of my favorite second tier characters in the books. It’s downright adorable that Stannis’ daughter is trying to teach the guy how to read. I don’t remember if he keeps the kid locked away from the world or not, but it feels that way, which is sad.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 3’s fifth episode is yet another plot thickener, which isn’t a bad thing I assure you. Jon Snow didn’t shine quite as bright tonight as I’d hoped (or as the trailer implied. Bastards), but he did get his cherry popped so all in all it was a good night for him. Daenerys keeps getting more and more respect from her Unsullied (the Grey Worm bit was moving), but it’s a little disturbing to hear Sir Barristan talk about what might have to happen when they get home. And poor Robb. That mofo couldn’t catch a break with both hands. The Sansa plot is brewing nicely, and the final scene with Tywin putting Tyrion and Cercei (her especially) in their place was marvellous. He’s definitely the guy you love to hate. Another great episode. But damn, are we half-done already?

SEX/NUDITY: : Jon and Ygritte get it on in a cave. And for the ladies, we got some dude on dude action between Loras and the guy sent by Littlefinger to spy on him. Good times.

VIOLENCE: The Hound nearly cleaves Berric Dandarrion in half, and Robb beheads one of his lords for treason (much like Ned did in season one) after he kills the Lannister kids they were holding hostage.

SHARPEST QUIP: Jon Snow makes me proud when standing up to the Mance’s Warg when he calls him a liar. Jon: “What happens to your eagle after I kill you? Does he drift away like a kite with his strings cut, or does he just flop dead to the ground.”

MOST EPIC SCENE: As a diehard Jamie Lannister fan, I have to go with the hot tub speech.

FINAL VERDICT :

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