Welcome to Arrow in the Head's The Best Horror Movie You Never Saw, which will be dedicated to highlighting horror films that, for one reason or another, don't get as much love as we think they should. We know plenty of you horror hounds out there will have seen many of the movies we pick, but there will be plenty of you who have not. This column is for all of you!
This week we take a look at Stewart Raffill's truly insane TAMMY AND THE T-REX (WATCH IT HERE – OWN IT HERE), starring Denise Richards, Paul Walker and Terry Kiser!
THE STORY: Stop me if you've heard this one: Tammy and Michael are a cute high school couple just looking to spend some time together, but Tammy's psycho ex-boyfriend Billy isn't having it. One night, Billy and his rowdy friends beat and abduct Michael, and abandon him in a wildlife preserve, where he is quickly mauled by a lion. Michael's comatose body is stolen by a mad scientist whose singular vision is to put people's brains in robotic bodies; he removes Michael's brain and installs it into an animatronic T-Rex, as you do. Understandably upset by this surprising development, Michael escapes the lab and reunites with Tammy, and the two of them set about finding a new body for the unfortunate fellow. Same old thing…
THE HISTORY: Director Stewart Raffill was contacted by a South American theater owner who had access to a large animatronic dinosaur for a few weeks before it was to be shipped off to a Texas theme park. The distributor wanted Raffill to concoct a story that would feature the beast, but it had to be done quickly. Raffill came up with the story for TAMMY AND THE T-REX in under two weeks, and the production was launched a few weeks after, with most of the locations being within 20 miles of Raffill's L.A. home for convenience's sake. Aiming to intentionally make a campy comedy that would appeal to teenagers, Raffill crafted a movie that's equal parts sweet teenage love story and bizarre horror/sci-fi schlockfest. Once the distributor saw the finished product, he was appalled by all the violence and gore, and took it upon himself to cut the film into a PG-rated family flick. Raffill washed his hands of that cut and the film vanished into obscurity, until decades later the original footage was unearthed and the bonkers "director's cut" of TAMMY AND THE T-REX was restored – a gift to obscure/cheesy/so-bad-it's-good film fans everywhere.
WHY IT'S GREAT: Look, we all know the word "great" lends itself to several different interpretations. Is TAMMY AND THE T-REX great the way JAWS is great? No. But is it great as in, you'll have a great time watching it? I say yes. I'll be honest; I had never seen this film before a few days ago, which is breaking with tradition for this column; each of the films reviewed thus far were ones I know well or revisited after some time. Tammy and the T-Rex was a new experience, and I am so deliriously happy I gave it a chance. I had heard rumblings last year about its resurrection, and was only very vaguely familiar with the title from my youth, but thanks to distributor Vinegar Syndrome, I got the chance to watch this cinematic monstrosity for myself – and I almost never stopped smiling.
What do you say about a movie that features an animatronic dinosaur using a payphone to call his girlfriend? What do you say about a movie that depicts that same dinosaur considering corpses to host his human brain – and at one point leaning toward having his brain inserted into a female body? I could go on all day. The fact is, Tammy and the T-Rex doesn't contain one single scene that isn't completely baffling. Raffill (known for the ridiculous Mac & Me and the pretty decent Ice Pirates) may have only had two weeks to write the screenplay, but it's still a mystery as to why this was the story he came up with. I guess the old saying is true: If you only have access to an robotic dinosaur for three weeks, you might as well make a movie where it cries at its own funeral.
What's especially likable about Tammy and the T-Rex is that it's very aware of its own outrageousness. Wisely, quite wisely, Raffill didn't attempt to pretend his idea wasn't preposterous, and the resulting movie is a tongue-and-cheek riot; when you're laughing at it, you're actually laughing with it. Comparisons to The Room or Birdemic are unfair because those filmmakers had nary a clue what they were doing; Raffill is constantly nudging you in the ribs and having a laugh at his own absurd concoction. That doesn't mean the film is free from a considerable amount of mockery. Even if it was made in good humor, it's still an absolutely insane bunch of rubbish. But it's that good humor, and a substantial atmosphere of sweetness emanating from the production and cast, that lifts Tammy and the T-Rex above movies it might be lumped in with and into a category of its own. One thing everyone who encounters it has to admit: You've never seen anything like it. Never, ever.
It would be foolish not to talk a little about the cast, which at this point gives Tammy and the T-Rex even more of a WTF?! factor. Starring as Tammy (who is, for some reason, referred to as "Tanny" several times in the credits!) is Denise Richards in one of her very first roles, a handful of years before she'd open eyes with her turns in Starship Troopers and Wild Things. Richards gives a performance which is surprisingly genuine, even heartfelt; I'll fight you if you say she isn't really going for it while cooing to her dinosaur boyfriend or crying over his injured body. The movie might not be the same if the Tammy character were played with a wink from the actress, or if the performance were truly terrible. Instead, you actually like this character, and god bless Raffill for noticing the potential in the future celebrity. Tammy's boyfriend Michael is played by Paul Walker, also in one of his first leading performances, and while he isn't in the movie too much (he's turned into a T-Rex about 30 minutes in and I can't believe I just typed that), the actor's charisma and trademark smile are absolutely on display. Hamming it up as the mad scientist who wants to turn everyone (and their pets) into robots is Terry Kiser, best known for his brave portrayals as Bernie Lomax in the Weekend at Bernie's films, and he's having a very good time with his terrible accent and maniacal proclamations. Children of the Corn fans will get a kick out of seeing John Franklin (Isaac in those films) go far over-the-top as the scientist's churlish assistant. If the film has one misstep (LOL) it's the sterotypical depiction of Tammy's gay best friend Byron, but Theo Forsett makes the most of the character, delivering some of the funniest lines.
Just writing about this movie makes me want to watch it again. In fact, I'm going to. Bye.
BEST SCENE: Can I vote for all of them? I suppose not. The sequence where Michael-as-T-Rex crashes a party and kills off the bullies who helped put him in this predicament is a stand out, if only for the hilarious gore effects.
WHERE TO WATCH: Vinegar Syndrome has put serious effort into making sure everyone gets the full Tammy and the T-Rex experience they deserve, with a new 4K restoration and a Blu-ray filled with supplemental material. (It will be released on January 28th.) It's also available on Showtime OnDemand.
PARTING SHOT: Okay, so it's not exactly poetry in motion, but TAMMY AND THE T-REX is still a must-see oddity that you'll have trouble explaining to anyone who hasn't seen it. That's why it's crucial you get as many people as possible together to revel in its singular vision.