Sacha Baron Cohen may be an embarrassment as a spy in BROTHERS GRIMSBY, but he doesn't hold a candle to…
Director: Paul Weiland
Stars: Bill Cosby, Tom Courtenay, Joe Don Baker
Super spy and Scumbag Lifetime Achievement winner Bill Cosby must take down a woman…
…who is controlling animals in an attempt to take over the world.
We now know that Bill Cosby is a sentient pile of human garbage, but if you rewind a few decades to the 1980s, the once-beloved Cliff Huxtable was almost untouchable as an entertainer. That's what makes a colossal misfire like LEONARD PART 6 so simultaneously appalling and fascinating. It was such a catastrophic failure that not only did Cosby trash the film before its release and beg his fans not to see it, he actually purchased the TV rights himself to make sure it would never be viewed by a mass audience.
Um…
And yes, LEONARD PART 6 truly is that bad. This lazy parody of the spy genre was a critical failure, a box office dud and swept the Razzies the year it came out—and it deserves every single one of those distinctions. Perhaps the absolute worst thing about this movie is that you can sit down, watch the entire thing and not understand what was even supposed to be funny. Here are some of my best guesses for things that someone somewhere intended to be humorous:
Even on paper none of those things sounds remotely funny.
Uh…
How could this happen? Before he was outed as a person-shaped dumpster fire, Bill Cosby was at one point a talented comedian. Surely, it must be someone else's fault. Nope! Although another writer is credited for the screenplay, Cosby still came up with the story, which is the scoliosis in the backbone of this disaster, and is also listed as a producer, so one would assume he had some form of creative oversight. In fact, director Paul Weiland (who would go on to make CITY SLICKERS II: THE LEGEND OF CURLY'S GOLD), blames the actor-writer-alleged rapist of more than 50 women completely for the movie's failure: "Cosby just wasn't funny. I couldn't tell him directly. I'd say it feels slow, and he'd say, 'You worry about construction, let me worry about funny.'"
Anyone…?
At its simplest, LEONARD PART 6 is about a spy who is forced to come out of retirement to stop an evil mastermind, while also attempting to win back his estranged wife. Instead of just being fed up with his secret agent lifestyle, it turns out Leonard's ex-wife left him because she caught him in a sauna with a 19 year old girl. Cosby's character claims he was the victim, insisting that he wasn't doing anything inappropriate with the young woman, just simply "whipping her with birch leaves." Uh-huh, you keep up that story, you deplorable Jell-O-eating asshat.
…
Bill Cosby notwithstanding, the real villain of the movie is Medusa Johnson, played by future MATRIX oracle Gloria Foster. Medusa Johnson is an eco-terrorist who can control animals and is training them to help her take over Northern California. Not lions, elephants, snakes or any creature that would make sense in this situation, but things like a deranged rainbow trout or a horde of murderous frogs that bounce an agent's car in to the ocean. Johnson also commands an army of vegetarian henchmen, whose skin burns at any contact with animal products, and killer dancers. The dance battle between Cosby and rejects from the Lion King broadway show is truly one of the worst things I've witnessed in my entire life. And I've been forced to watch PHAT GIRLZ.
NO. OH GOD, NO…
What results as Leonard, in his sperm-shaped spy suit, takes on Medusa Johnson is just a flaming pile of nonsense. LEONARD PART 6 is utterly painful from start to finish with zero redeeming qualities. It makes GHOST DAD look like CITIZEN KANE. Some of the clips below may look intriguingly bizarre out of context, but make no mistake—never, ever watch this movie. And not just because it stars someone who is the living embodiment of societal wastewater.
Literally a picture of Bill Cosby shoving a wiener inside someone against their wishes.
Some of the more ridiculous things said in this movie.
Some of the dumbest parts, including animal attacks, a vegetarian's worst nightmare, and dance fighting.
Bill Cosby in the shower is enough to make anyone queasy.
Want to support a gigantic douchenozzle? Buy this movie here!
Take a shot or drink every time:
Double shot if:
Hold your Fruity Pebbles! We've got one more Awfully Good for you from Jesse Shade's video series, this time featuring the prehistoric classic THE FLINTSTONES starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Elizabeth Perkins, Rosie O'Donnell, Halle Berry, and Kyle MacLachlan! Yabba-Dabba-Do!
Thanks to Juan for suggesting this week's movie!
Seen a movie that should be featured on this column? Shoot Jason an email or follow him on Twitter and give him an excuse to drink.