Awfully Good: Cyborg (1989)

Last Updated on December 6, 2022

Legendary B-movie director Albert Pyun passed away this week, leaving behind many glorious contributions to this column, including…

Cyborg (1989)

Director: Albert Pyun
Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn

IS THERE A PLOT?

In a completely unimaginable future where a deadly plague and the collapse of civilized society have completely destroyed humanity, a martial arts mercenary hunts down the pirate warlord who killed his family. There’s also a cyborg occasionally.

WHAT’S THE DAMAGE?

CYBORG has the esteemed distinction of being the last movie released by Cannon Films, purveyor of such B-movie classics as SUPERMAN IV, OVER THE TOP, and BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, before the company went bankrupt amid an SEC investigation. It’s a film that only exists because of two higher profile Cannon failures: a sequel to Dolph Lundgren’s MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE and, believe it or not, a live-action SPIDER-MAN movie. In the late 1980s, the company had the rights to both franchises and boldly planned to shoot the two films simultaneously before their options expired, hiring cult director Albert Pyun to helm both. (The alleged idea to pull this off involved filming all the puny, pre-spider bite Peter Parker stuff first, taking a break to shoot all of HE-MAN 2 while the Spider-Man actor got in superhero shape, and then coming back to complete the Spidey movie.) Sadly, right before filming on this grand experiment was scheduled to start, Cannon bounced their licensing checks to Mattel and Marvel and both productions were shut down.

So what’s a failing studio to do after spending $2 million on preproduction for a pair of movies that will never be made? Most would use it as a tax write off or try to collect some insurance, but Cannon instead instructed Albert Pyun to come up with a new, much cheaper film that could utilize all of the existing sets, costumes, and other materials that were already built. They gave the director a $500,000 budget (most of which went to Jean Claude Van Damme) and told him he had a weekend to come up with an original script to try and recover their investment. The result of this desperate madness was 1989’s CYBORG.

Jean Claude Van Damme crucified — *I’ve heard stories about Van Damme having a God complex, but this is ridiculous!*

Given the circumstances, CYBORG turned out pretty good, with all the credit to Pyun for rescuing the production into something that’s miraculously coherent and, more importantly, entertaining. If you know the backstory and pay attention, you might be able to spot a few seams, whether it’s the wild outfits clearly pieced together from other costumes or reusing the same actors in multiple roles to save a buck. But overall none of the behind-the-scenes drama shows up onscreen and the final product looks much more expensive than its paltry budget would suggest.

The film is a standard western tale in a post-apocalyptic, sci-fi setting, featuring a lone hero with a tragic past who’s tasked with saving innocent people from a villain he has a personal vendetta against. Not breaking any new ground in terms of plot, but it makes for a decent backdrop for solid 80s action. Pyun originally wrote the role of Gibson Rickenbacker for Cannon mainstay Chuck Norris, only for the producers to insist on hiring a Jean-Claude Van Damme, hot off the success of the studio’s own BLOODSPORT. There are times where it feels like the protagonist in CYBORG should be a grizzled hero beaten down by years of surviving a desolate hellscape, instead of, you know, a young martial arts superstar. However, Van Damme is pretty great in this, clearly still trying to prove himself in the industry and giving the role his all, both in terms of action and acting. And you get all of the Muscles from Brussels’ greatest hits—nonstop slow motion kicks, impressive leg splits between two walls, and some enjoyably memorable line deliveries.

Jean Claude Van Damme doing the splits above someone — *Extreme Teabagging… coming soon to The Learning Channel.*

Pyun also gives Van Damme a real backstory for Rickenbocker, which is commendable, even if it is a truly bonkers one. After years of working as a mercenary, our hero reluctantly falls in love with a woman and settles down with her and her children. The newfound family is safe and happy…until a gang of outlaw pirates (led by the amazingly stylish Fender Tremolo) finds them and decides to kill them using a method that might be too cruel for a SAW movie. The bad guys put the family in to the bucket of a well and tie it with barb wire, forcing the youngest daughter to hold them up with her bare hands as long as she can. This leads to multiple flashback scenes where Van Damme painfully recalls watching the small child tearfully screaming, her hands bloodied by sharp metal as she watches her family slowly drown. Not since someone killed John Wick’s dog have I completely understood a character’s thirst for revenge.

Cyborg woman with her mechanical head exposed — *Finally, a way to tell what women are actually thinking.*

From the title and poster, one might assume that Van Damme becomes a badass robot on his violent quest for justice. NOPE. The only cyborg in the movie is a woman created by the resistance to download and transfer some data needed to save humanity. She’s essentially a walking USB drive who doesn’t even get much screentime. I’d call her a MacGuffin, but you could honestly remove her from the film entirely and it wouldn’t really change much. Hell, she’s not even with Van Damme for 90% of the movie. It’s definitely a bit of a bait and switch for anyone looking for TERMINATOR-style killer robot action, but Cannon forced the title on Pyun, whose original name for the movie (SLINGER, the term for Van Damme’s style of mercenary) makes so much more sense.

And that wasn’t the only disservice done to the director. Like many of his films, Pyun’s original cut was discarded and the film was taken away from him in the editing room. In the case of CYBORG, Van Damme himself was given the rights to edit the movie to his liking, which explains some of the odder choices, like the constant hero shots and showing the same flashback over and over again just to highlight the actor’s dramatic chops.

Group shot of villains from the movie — *I would pay money to see this band in concert.*

Still, a lot of the director’s trademark style does come through. As my childhood film education can attest, anytime you saw the name Albert Pyun attached to something—THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR, CAPTAIN AMERICA, even KICKBOXER 2—you knew you were in for a good time. Not an expensive, particularly well-polished time, but something potentially goofy and always enjoyable. It also helps that Pyun was good with action; shooting clear, clean fights and putting together sequences and set pieces that always exceeded their budget. And as a writer he had a keen ear for exactly the kind of tone the material needed. Just look at this opening narration from CYBORG, told from the point of view of the film’s villain:

“First there was the collapse of civilization: anarchy, genocide, starvation. Then when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse, we got the plague. The Living Death, quickly closing its fist over the entire planet. Then we heard the rumors: that the last scientists were working on a cure that would end the plague and restore the world. Restore it? Why? I like the death! I like the misery! I like this world!”

That’s absolute poetry as far as this column is concerned.

Jean Claude Van Damme on his knees screaming — *TFW when NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER doesn’t get the respect it deserves.*

Despite its complicated beginnings, CYBORG actually did fairly well at the box office, though not enough to save Cannon, who, it came to be revealed, had been financing their films with junk bonds. It still eventually led to two mostly unrelated sequels, the first of which replaced Van Damme with a young Angelina Jolie (read our CYBORG II review here). Pyun was not involved with either follow-up although he did shoot a prequel (CYBORG NEMESIS) in 2016 that sadly had to be abandoned in post-production due to his illness. A truly sad ending for Pyun, not only for a life cut too short, but for a filmmaker who never really got the appreciation in the industry he deserved. At least his many fans were able be there for him in the end.