Top 10: Tit Shots #1

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

Written By Serena Whitney:

Topless females in
horror movies have become a staple in the genre. In a way, boob shots in
horror have not only become overly gratuitous, they have also become
obligatory. If a horror movie seems to avoid shooting any female nudity in
it, it will be the first thing I will notice after watching the film.

Although, I find
that concept very refreshing, a lot of horror fans (particularly male ones)
embrace and still welcome the glimpses of female nudity that move the plot
of the story as much as Halle Berry’s topless scene moved the plot in
Swordfish.  I wouldn’t mind these shots so much if more horror films
gave women some treats as well. (“Tit for Tat, yo!”)

I wanted to kick myself in the ass for not thinking
of this top ten topic sooner, but then I realized why I stayed away from it
in the first place. Picking just TEN scenes with gratuitous tit shots is
extremely hard, for these scenes are a dime a dozen.  Although, I managed to
pick ten scenes that will forever be embedded in my memory. 
Use the
spitting bullets section to discuss others!

WARNING – SOME TITTIES SPOILERS AHEAD!

10. Club
Dread

 For some reason, a lot of my guy
friends are in love with the actress Jordan Ladd.  More importantly, they’re
in love with her breasts. I watched a few genre films with her in it, and
they were all waiting for her to drop her top. I used to tell them that they
would never see her topless for the fact that it looked like she was trying
to maintain a wholesome image due to the fact her mother was a famous
actress. Well, imagine my surprise when audiences saw her pull a “Halle
Berry” when she played Penelope, the gymnast that likes to do cartwheels
topless. I was shocked…but my guy friends ‘ prayers were answered.

9. Snakes
on a Plane

I have never gotten the
whole “mile high club” fascination.  Call me a prude, but I never understood
why people seem to want to get it on in a dirty plane port-a potty. In
Snakes on a Plane, we get to see a couple try to attempt to become new
members of the mile high club.  When the girl took off her top to reveal her
unnaturally perfect breasts, (which would also become a snack for one of the
snakes) I just shook my head.  In reality, who the f*ck has the time to get
completely naked in one of those things?  I would think the only parts of
your body that would be exposed are the nether regions.  Unzip. Lift up.
Insert. Thrust. Repeat. Pull out. Zip. Bada Bing! Bada Boom! DONE! No time
for foreplay!

8.
Hostel

If you want an excuse to get
drunk with your friends quick, make a game out of taking shots whenever you
see a topless woman onscreen in Eli Roth’s Hostel. You will be
completely drunk within the first fifteen minutes and will most likely have
a mean hangover in the morning. (Or quite possibly alcohol poisoning.)  Out
of all those shots of female nudity, and not ONE shot of a naked Jay
Hernandez. Sigh!

7.
Sorority House Massacre 2

I always get the Slumber
Party Massacre and the Sorority House Massacre series mixed up. 
They seem pretty much the same to me.  A bunch of dumb ass women (probably
later cast in rap music videos or porn) setting my gender back… hmmm…I
don’t  know… four weeks.  As degrading as these films were, I must admit how
entertaining they were on a “so bad, they’re good” level. 

There were plenty
of gratuitous tit shots in the series, but one scene always stood out to
me.  In Sorority House Massacre 2, the audience is “treated” to a
three-minute shower scene.  I felt like a peeping Tom, because all the scene
was about was filming a sorority girl in the f*cking shower.  Was the
director jerking off to this while he was filming it or what?!  Isn’t this a
horror movie?  As “fun” as it is to see every vein in a woman’s breast and
every bump or wrinkle on her nipple can be, can we please get to the killing
already?

6.
Zombie Lake

A lot of you
may not have heard of this early eighties French horror film, but believe
me, it’s one to be seen.  There is so much gratuitous nudity in this film, I
thought I was watching porn.  At one part in the movie, this random bus full
of female soccer players pull over to the zombie infested lake.  All of the
women get buck naked, and go skinny-dipping in the lake with one another. 

Yep. I
know that’s what I like to do after a grueling game of soccer. Strip
naked and frolic in a lake in the middle of the night full of women snacking
on each other. (*Please note my EXTREME sarcasm.)  I’ve never been so
flabbergasted by a scene since watching half naked football players
sunbathing on top of a school bus in Jeepers
Creepers 2.

PART 2 OF THIS LIST IS CUMMING SOON!