Last Updated on July 27, 2021
This week lets take a look at a pop-culture mash-up that I for one would pay good money to see. We’ll take some favorite horror baddies and look seriously at how they would fare on the CBS juggernaut known as SURVIVOR. Hell, this list could take care of a number of VS. movies and a Celebrity Survivor all in one fell swoop.
So check out the list, then Spit Bullets on who you think should be on the island, and who would be the top mad dog.
Every cast of SURVIVOR seems to feature at least a couple of older folks who are destined to get picked off early because they can’t hang in the physical challenges. Jigsaw would definitely be that guy. Can’t blame him, after all he does have cancer, but his superior intellect has no chance to come into play before his physical limitations get him booted.
As long as it revolved around a salt-water location, Jaws could be a serious SURVIVOR stud. He’d kick ass in the water challenges since no one would even want to get in with him, and the fishing that many a contestant has made their bones with would be easily ruled by Bruce. The problem is he’s going to get targeted early because he’s a huge threat, and the cast has that oxygen tank that Jigsaw brought along to finish this shark off right.
No more shark in the water so the Pinster should be king fishmonger with all those delicious hooks at his disposal. No doubt the tribe would put up with a lot to keep him around. But when you get right down to it, the mixture of his effete British leather-clad S&M vibe is probably too much for most of the conservative leaning maniacs in horror today – no matter how much sushi The Pin could provide.
Norman was just playing a waiting game from the word go. A shy, cross-dressing, schizophrenic guy who gives you creepy looks and walks about with an odd lanky gait is going to creep people out. Even amongst this crowd you know some of them are thinking, “I can’t put my finger on it, but that dude gives me the willies.” He does his best to fit in, but eviction from the tribe is just a matter of convenient timing.
I don’t care how many people you’ve killed, you gotta respect Annie Wilkes. What she will do to enforce her ideas about right and wrong would make the most sadistic murderer proud. Unfortunately for her she is both unattractive and uncompromising. Now it may not be fair, but the world is not a big fan of headstrong women, especially when they aren’t hot. Annie’s forthrightness will see her getting a big ‘ole left field sledgehammer when she’s outmaneuvered out of camp.
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