Last Updated on July 27, 2021
Ah, St. Patrick’s Day! Is there a better excuse for worldwide drunken revelry and carousing? I think not. And that auspicious day of wearing green, drinking beer and looking to get lucky is upon us soon. The question thus put to us is this – When that Killian’s model with the surprisingly awesome ass for a redhead gets so toasted on what she’s selling that her choice for a one night stand partner becomes a public toilet, what are we to do then?
Watch some f*cking horror my friends! Now it may seem that St. P’s Day is a tough one to obtain appropriate genre fare for, but fear not! There’s plenty for everyone if you just apply a little creativity.
So here’s the flicks that IMHO you should seriously consider adding to the day’s festivities. Disagree? Have other nominations? Well spit ’em like green beer filled bullets down below.
This disgustingly gory genre effort from director Christian Viel is set in Ireland and has a lot going for it. Primarily reams of porn stars, including Ginger Lynn Allen sporting a deliciously bad accent. And of course there’s the ample red, wet messiness that led to protests, distribution problems and general discontent. The bloodshed really is creative in a wholly nauseating kind of way. Besides, who hasn’t wanted to see Richard Grieco bite it big time!
Monster mash set in a bar. What could be more in keeping with genre expectations and the spirit of St. Patty’s Day? I know that if I have to face down some nasty beasties in what will likely be my last day on earth, please let there be plenty of beer and Krista Allen. Ironically, I’d probably skip the Guinness and focus on light beers so that I wouldn’t get slowed down when it’s time to run like hell.
Francis Ford Coppola convinced legendary producer Roger Corman to let him tag a quick and cheap horror film onto a project that the C man had just finished up in Ireland. The result is this B&W axe-murdering feature loaded with tons of atmosphere and some very creative work arounds by Coppola because of his meager budget. From the opening body dump set to pop music, to a spectacular for the time rolling head, there is much to dig about this dark trek on the Emerald Isle.
It’s green, man. Gotta have some green on SPD! Plus as much as the special effects are lacking in this sucker, it’s hard not to be effected by the love story at the heart of this vegetation on hottie romance. It’s not all about Adrienne Barbeau’s cans either. There’s genetic experimentation, mutations, wicked battles, severed limbs, and a generally good time to be had by all. But no pinching, ’cause there’s so much green!
Irish director Neil Jordan has done the land of Eyre proud with most of his non-Hollywood efforts, but this one is easily his biggest “blockbuster”. It’s also what I affectionately think of as a panty melter. Who cares that the man love in this sucker is thicker than the kosher sausage at my Jewish Deli. You sit down with a lady friend, ply her with beer and a heavy dose of the Cruise-Pitt-Slater onslaught this movie offers – trust me the love juices will be a’flowin!
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