Last Updated on July 27, 2021
A lot of things make for great horror, but ya got nothing without an awesome villain. Now some of them are nasty creatures, others just stalk you with single-minded evil. But there are some out there that really f*ck you up with their creepy azz voice.
How do you know you have a winner? Especially when so many of our best have been parodied to death? It’s simple really. Imagine yourself walking through a parking garage at night. As you’re about to unlock your car, you hear, right over your shoulder – THAT voice. If your sphincter tightens a little at that thought, then the voice is a winner.
So let’s get to it, and don’t forget to exercise your horror voice by spitting bullets!
What’s the matter? Don’t you think he’s f*cking funny! Spaulding kicked much ass in HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, but TDR is where he really sprung to life in full voiced, foul mouthed glory. The character was as much comic relief as menacing figure in the first flick, but come sequel time he dropped the silly airs and got down to some f*cking clown bizness.
Brad Dourif may not possess the most terrifying vocal chords ever, and Chucky has lost most of his menace as the series went a more comedic path. That said, the first time Chucky springs to life in the mom’s arms is one of the best moments of delayed expectation being fulfilled in the history of cinema. Genius in concept. Sublime in execution.
“Be careful what you wish for” indeed. Here’s a tip. If your Genie-dude insists on looking at you through hooded eyes and has a voice like sandpaper drenched in oil, clamp your mouth shut and run the other way. He’s going to make sure that things go bad otherwise. I mean, hell, this magic man kicks so much ass that he even got the drop on Tony Todd. Tell me that doesn’t make you pee in your pants just a little.
I will never in my lifetime talk to anyone on a CB radio, and the reason for that is Rusty Nail. He rips people’s jaws off. He has a superspy like ability to track you. And he’s got a voice that you very much believe belongs to a man who enjoys eating puppies (or at least cutting girls’ skin off and making a dress out of it). The only thing that would keep me from driving myself into the nearest ravine if I heard that voice in my car is if said car was K.I.T.T. and I could just let him respond…and drive.
“Do you like scary movies?” With one awesome question it felt like the slasher genre got a Pulp Fiction-ish shot n the ass. Of course, like Pulp Fiction, the stream of imitators all paled in comparison to the original, but SCREAM did it up right. And a lot of the credit goes to the simple scare tactic of a creepy anonymous voice on the phone. So let’s revisit the question – “Do you like scary movies?”
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