Last Updated on July 26, 2021
Oh Zombies. From shuffling, unrelenting undead masses, to running, jumping, rabid masses, they are one of horror’s staples. Not a staple I’m typically a huge fan of, but a staple nevertheless.
I guess part of the reason that I don’t personally dig these dead heads that much is the general lack of charisma and power. I find most movies about these dudes about as exciting as a flick focusing solely on Orcs. Which is to say not very.
But there are, of course, exceptions. Every once in awhile an actor or a filmmaker gives us a little something different that makes a zombie stand out from the crowd. So let’s salute the dead that keep the concept alive. And spit bullets on your fav limb shedding brain eaters.
Zombied out mom as a result of badness from a Sumatran Rat Monkey? Yes please. I tend to find stories where someone has to deal with an undead loved one more interesting than the usual fare. Of course in the case of Vera, calling her “loved” is a bit of a stretch. Thankfully the MOMMY DEAREST type issues she brings to the finale lead us into one of the grossest denouements in zombie history. Which is saying something.
One of the most effective horror a-holes of all time, it’s really more of a pleasure than anything else when Brad gets slugged into brain deadom. And a positive part of these movies is that if you really hate somebody, you often to get to see them bite it more than once. I could pretty much just watch a 24-hour loop of Brad getting killed over and over again.
Ed’s not a zombie for long, but it really hurts that he gets the business. The only thing taking the edge off a bit is that his mate, in true best friend fashion, just slaps a collar on him in the shed and keeps Ed as a video gaming pet. Granted, there are serious problems with this approach, since said pet is going to try and eat you every chance he gets, but damnit if this wasn’t a great way to end the movie.
Jason turned into a zombie in Part 6 and never looked back. Gone was the super retardo maniac, and in his place was a hulking, unstoppable killing machine that you literally cannot kill. Plus this got the series back on track (sort of), and gave us the great Kane Hodder’s first chance behind the hockey mask.
ZH drags a bit too much in the middle to be a real classic, but the relationship between Danny and his bride is pretty heart-warming given the circumstances. He also gets infected in one of the grossest ways possible. I mean, bite me on the neck all day, but please dear God do not vomit Zombie juice into my f*cking mouth!
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