Top 10: Kristmas Kills #1

Last Updated on July 26, 2021

Once again the holidays are here, and while Halloween is a much greater set of festivities for horror fans, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to get down with come Christmas time.

Whether you like killer Santa’s, people killing Santa, or just general mayhem and gore set to carols and such, we got your hook up right here.

So here’s hoping you and yours have a safe and happy holiday. Or at least a drunken blast with charismatic hookers. And if you have a few celebratory words to share with your fellow arrowheads, then spit those bullets.

How many times have you wanted to kill a co-worker? Because this scene of home invasion revenge will act as some serious catharsis for ya. Even if you don’t feel the need to take care of business in a Santa suit. The overall film is more TAXI DRIVER than SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, but when the kills hit they hit a little harder. And this one is particularly nice.

This is such a ridiculous kill that it’s one of my favorite guilty pleasures in the genre. A pre-AMERICAN PIE Shannon Elizabeth looking very naked gets raped and then killed in a bathtub by a psychotic snowman. Let me tell ya, you’ll never look at that carrot nose the same way again.

Before Margot Kidder inspired Superman to reverse time, before she went kinda nutty and started hanging out in her neighbor’s garbage, she got to die by unicorn statue impalement. Officially the worst holiday hook up ever.

Knew this would be a fun list, but there isn’t a whole hell of a lot of Christmas themed mayhem to be had, so I was pleased when Walkuski reminded me that the opening race in this remake took place right around Christmas. So whether you like vehicular explosion as a manner of death, or just plain ole getting leveled by a car, this is a great way to kick off the holidays.

Picking a favorite death from Dante’s masterpiece is like trying to choose which one of my kids I love the most. It’s just not possible. But for maximum splash and quick look thrills, the duo of death by blender and death by microwave is pretty damn tough to beat.