Top 10: Kristmas Kills #2

Last Updated on July 26, 2021

Once again the holidays are here, and while Halloween is a much greater set of festivities for horror fans, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to get down with come Christmas time.

Whether you like killer Santa’s, people killing Santa, or just general mayhem and gore set to carols and such, we got your hook up right here.

So here’s hoping you and yours have a safe and happy holiday. Or at least a drunken blast with charismatic hookers. And if you have a few celebratory words to share with your fellow arrowheads, then spit those bullets.

An obvious staple of the horror genre is nubile young folk getting sliced and diced as a result of daring to have some sex. We’ve seen it a million times. But have you seen it with antlers? Jabbing some serious hotness like Linnea Quigley up on a wall? Ya, me neither.

Throwing a bit of a twist on the holiday mayhem, this flick ignores insane Santa’s and their ilk, instead giving us a serial killer who is taking out Santa’s. Very naughty indeed. Especially when he decides to relieve one Santa of the sack he holds most dear.

The remake is in no way, shape or form better than the original. But killing your mom and then cutting up her skin to make Christmas cookies is an extremely noteworthy moment of yuletide psychosis. Fortunately this flick front loads all the interesting stuff so you can pretty much get what you need from it in under a half hour.

Anytime you get to watch Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan bite it in one scene you know it’s a good time. Make it happen at Christmas dinner with James Caan as the nonplussed pops, it gets even better. Oh, now you want to toss in Goldberg as the killer Santa? A classic is born.

Horror? No, but you can’t talk Christmas death and not get into some DIE HARD. Hell, I coulda populated the entire list with nothing but kills from the first two movies. That said, one of the best by far is John McClane’s quick thinking weapons acquisition while once again on the verge of getting his ass handed to him – dead. Now it’s time to go find some carpet and make fists with your feet!