Last Updated on July 26, 2021
Well, AITH reader Adam Koetters is el fuego and shot us another great idea for this week. Well done sir! Clearly remakes have become the rage in Hollywood, both horror and otherwise. Hell, Spidey is getting a reboot already so the window of opportunity is closing all the time. It seems like soon we’ll be looking at the same movie being made twice with different directors and actors for release in concert with each other
But no matter how stupid Tinseltown gets with all this, the remake is here to stay, so perhaps instead of raging against the dying of the light, we should help ’em out. Give ’em a list of movies that should be remade.
So what the hell makes a movie worth being remade? Well, something with a good concept that was a bad movie of course. Or a great movie that hasn’t aged well and could be seriously awesome if updated by the right people. I expect this’ll get your brain pans sizzling, so spit bullets on what you’d like to see remade!
WARNING – A LITTLE HELP FOR HOLLYWOOD BELOW!
5. PUMPKINHEAD
Part PREDATOR, part ALIEN, this curse brings around a monster mash was disappointing largely because it could have been such a great twist on the slasher genre. Giving us a real badass, though admittedly derivative beast, and then letting him reign havoc with the feel of a stalker and the backing of some supernatural mojo has so much goodness going on that this genre loving heart nearly burst. Until I saw it, and even Lance Henriksen couldn’t save this steaming pile. Try it again? Yes, please.
4. QUEEN OF THE DAMNED
Buy the QUEEN OF THE DAMNED DVD here
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE is one of the few movies I’ve seen that I thought was better than the book. So really, having the sequel turn into a metrosexual trek through MTV video mediocrity was disappointing to say the least. I can only imagine how pissed off fans of the book were. Now that vampires are all the rage again, there’s no reason someone shouldn’t take a shot at turning in a worthy sequel to the first film.
3. IT
“Remake” a mini-series as a movie? Why not? All the rules have basically been broken already. And as awesome as Pennywise is in the TV version, the last half loses so much steam it’s depressing and the ending is just f*cking retarded. One of the tough things about adapting a King novel is the immense amount of detail, but transferring a mostly successful adaptation onto a larger stage should be easier and could easily give us the scariest damn killer clown movie of all time.
2. DEEP BLUE SEA
Buy the DEEP BLUE SEA DVD here
Too soon to remake this? Not these days. It’s not so much that the movie was bad, it wasn’t. In fact it was damn fun and had one of the best kills ever to boot. But the sharks were awful, and visual F/X are so much more advanced now that revisiting these killer Makos, especially in digital 3-D, could truly give us the killer shark movie we’ve all been waiting for since JAWS. Great underwater scares in an extra dimension, that sounds like a recipe for fun, and bank, to me.
1. THE KEEP
Buy the THE KEEP VHS (yeah, I know) here
Nazis getting slaughtered by supernatural evil, while at the same time Scott Glenn brings the pain for the good guys? And Michael Mann directed? How the f*ck did this movie not knock our collective socks off? The sad fact, though, is it didn’t. Instead we got a lot of dingy looking extras wandering around caves that would likely be later inhabited by Fraggles. The less said about the “monster” design the better. Give me a new KEEP, and get working on it now Hollywood!
Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at [email protected]
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