The F*CKING BLACK SHEEP: Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Last Updated on July 23, 2021

THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We’re hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Directed by Ronny Yu

“ It’s not just mediocre. It’s one of the best of the franchise. “

A funny thing happened on the way to writing this column. With the re-imagining of yet another iconic horror franchise – Nightmare on Elm Street for those living in an underground bunker, directed by Samuel “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Bayer – it felt right to honor something supposedly lesser, to yellow highlighter the black sheep that lives on Elm Street. But which movie? Which one did the majority of folks dismiss and collectively think sucked King Kong balls? (Imagine the size of those suckers!) Immediately, the most overlooked, underappreciated one that came to my genre obsessed mind was New Nightmare, which I remembered three things about: 1) It got very good critical reviews. 2) It was boring. 3) It killed the franchise.

At least that’s what I recalled from 15 years ago. So on the way to write this here column, I gave New Nightmare another shot thinking it was the ticket, that now as an experience film critic I could appreciate what fans dismissed all those years ago. And…I didn’t like it. It sucked those King Kong balls. The damn thing plodded along like a chubby hooker in platform heels. By any time action finally erupted, good God, it was not only dated but predictable and bland. I dug the meta-fiction (it takes place in the “real world” where Freddy is a character who comes alive once Wes Craven pens a dandy new script) and the overall strive to do something different, but it failed miserably. Think about it. Just because Charlie Manson gets a new haircut – let’s say a pompadour – he’s still Charlie Manson. Slasher movies should be slasher movies. If filmmakers wanna get all fancy pants and show that they’re more than blood and guts, do it with a less established character. Please.

There is a point here. Partway through the most critically acclaimed of the Elm Street series, I realized something and had a moment of clarity like a crackhead finding a Burger King at two a.m.: Freddy vs. Jason. It came to me in a vision illuminated by my big screen TV. I haven’t met very many actual fans who actually loved the thing. Maybe enjoyed, but not loved. In fact, when I saw it in theaters half the crowd booed at the end. But not me. I bought the DVD the day it came out. It’s not just mediocre. It’s one of the best of the franchise. Seriously. For seven movies, we had to wait for until the end to see Freddy in action, wading through obnoxious teens as they struggled to stay awake and battle the evil sandman. But I wanted him unleashed. I wanted him as the centerpiece. I wanted his humor to suffocate. And while New Nightmare gave flashes of that Freddy vs. Jason delivered everything I wanted.

I love the dirtiness, the crispness of Freddy vs. Jason. It feels like what an actual event horror movie should. The concept of these two icons teaming up is utterly idiotic, but who cares? Everyone knows what they’re in for. I don’t want to hear that it doesn’t make sense. Did the others? Surrrrreee they did. Freddy vs. Jason has everything that previous one utterly lacked. Gore, humor, cheese, and nudity. Let’s face it, none of the Elm Streets past the original maintained a true serious tone. By the time Freddy’s Dead appeared, camp had overtaken the slight cheese. A little camp goes a long ways, and Freddy vs. Jason managed to find that perfect balance once again. It righted the lost ship. It righted one of the most insulting parts of New Nightmare: Freddy’s makeup. Now I’ve never been a burn victim or been around one, but I doubt someone’s head would suddenly resemble a freakin gargoyle with perfectly placed red splotches. Freddy vs. Jason fixes that colossal f*ck up with more realistic and terrifying makeup. It also manages to produce Robert Englund’s best performance as Freddy in over a decade. Unlike New Nightmare, the dude actually looks like he enjoyed himself. And it shows. For purist snobs out, I don’t want to hear that Kane Hodder wasn’t behind the Jason mask or that the matchup destroys whatever continuity lives on Elm Street. It don’t matter because Freddy vs. Jason isn’t just the definitive monster team up in over 40 some years (I’m not counting you, Godzilla or your whacky friends), but it’s the most satisfying of the series since the original. There, I said it.

No matter the view of either of these black sheep films, they both destroyed franchises. Wes Craven’s grand return to his baby actually induced the sleep his characters needed to avoid. It was the true franchise killer. Freddy vs. Jason never spun a deserved matchup, but by my calculations that’s a damn shame. How others didn’t see the potential gold mine is beyond me. Freddy vs. Jason stands above most of Elm Street and perhaps all of Friday the 13th. And if that ain’t a f*cking black sheep, I don’t know what the hell is.

GET THE FREDDY VS. JASON BLU-RAY HERE

GET THE FREDDY VS. JASON DVD HERE