THE F*CKING BLACK SHEEP: Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Last Updated on July 23, 2021

THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We’re hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!

ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968)
Directed by Roman Polanski

“Predictable, horribly dated, and lacks the proper suspense and emotional impact to maintain its status as horror royalty”

When it comes to horror movies, especially the classics, sometimes they can lose some luster, a little bit of the shine that once made them, well, shiny. I don’t mean something as simple as lacking shock value in terms of blood and gore. Older films still used carnage, just not to the same extent. Plus, it’s unfair to compare them to today’s standards of gore and torture, which have overtaken the horror industry. No one can judge older movies based their lack of technology and effects in comparison to what’s done today. It just ain’t fair.

What I can judge a movie on is if it still counts as a quality, or in this case, classic horror. If it still packs an emotional punch. If it still produces fear and anxiety. If it can still make you say, “That’s f*cking crazy!” In the case of the so-called classic Rosemary’s Baby, it doesn’t do any of that. It’s a slow, dull movie that’s as exciting as an episode of Real Wives of Wherever. Minus the Botox. Rosemary’s Baby no longer holds whatever Mike Tyson-sized punch it once had. When I watch it now it lacks tension, suspense, and horror. It’s time that we act and remove it once and for all from the horror genre. Instead, move it to the eerie drama category. Leave horror to features that actually invoke some sort of fear.

First, I had better establish a few things. For one, I love Roman Polanski the filmmaker. The man makes the type of movies I adore. Chinatown remains an eternal favorite. Ninth Gate, The Tenant, Frantic, The Pianist, and even the Ghost Writer are all quality, if not great features. Each display the same measured pace of tension and anxiety that marks Polanski’s patented style. He’s one of the few filmmakers with a very specific vision and style. Something utterly lacking today. Secondly, I love movies from the late 60’s and early 70’s. The look, the pacing of the majority of films from that era remains perfect in my book. A style I wish most Hollywood productions would go back to.

So why the hell would I attempt to bitch slap the queen of horror, one of Polanski’s best known movies? Well, because it’s a bore. It’s predictable, horribly dated, and lacks the proper suspense and emotional impact to maintain its status as horror royalty.

I remember the disappointment from the first time I rented it as a strapping teenage Doom attempting to educated myself by renting all classics available. Already a fan of Polanksi, I knew watching his first American film was necessary. When I got home from the store, I was pissed after reading the plot on back of the VHS box (yep, it was a while ago) in which it revealed the entire plot, including the surprise ending! Wow. Thanks a lot. Knowing that information killed any suspense that the movie might have possessed on a first viewing. However, now that I look back it wouldn’t have mattered. And that’s the fatal flaw. Rosemary’s Baby relies completely on the built up tension, Rosemary’s suspicions, and the mystery surrounding the apartment complex to create a horrific tale of deceit. But whether its your first or tenth viewing, no real mystery appears. Everything is spelled out in such a dummy proof way that only the slowest, or the sleepiest, would not be able to figure things out. And without blood-covered corpses littering the set, a horror movie without mystery nor suspense is a failed experiment. My recent viewing of the movie only confirmed this. The movie is a drag, and by the time the credits roll, no one cares if the baby is Satan or not.

Now listen (or read?). I get it that movies age. I get that effects sometimes lose their sucker punch. True classics though maintain multiple elements that retain their status as classics. Dracula still works because the dreary atmosphere and the wonderfully frightening sets. It also has the benefit of time and place, along with the black and white cinematography, which evokes that eerie 1930’s vibe. A movie like the Exorcist remains scary because it pushed the envelope and it created not only mystery and suspense, but it didn’t wait until the end of the movie to bring in the terror.

No one can knock the overall production quality for Rosemary’s Baby. While it’s a fine looking with great performances by Mia Farrow and John Cassavetes, acting will only takes it so far. Sometimes reasonability has to come into play. Neither I nor my girlfriend could get past how Rosemary (who doesn’t work) and her unemployed acting husband could afford their impressive New York City apartment. (It’s a minor compliant but still bugged the hell out of me). The real problem comes that just because it’s be bestowed as a classic doesn’t mean it’s still watchable all these years later. Sure, back in the day this movie might have scared the hell out of people, but when a movie is known as the Satan-finds-a-baby-momma flick, it loses its edge. Granted, many of the endings of great horror movies are a part of pop culture. We know Norman Bates is his mom. We known Bruce Willis was dead all along. We know Bruce Campbell can never get killed. We know the survivor of the Living Dead gets shot. However, knowing these things doesn’t diminish the overall power of those movies. Their mojo remains fully intact. That isn’t the case for Rosemary’s Baby. And she’ll never get her groove back. I’m fully aware not all horror movies don’t drown in blood. No throat slittings. No decapitations. No midnight teenage romps in the middle of some spooking woods.These aren’t necessary elements. But sometimes they do help add a little luster to the dullness.

Disagree? Buy the DVD and discover for yourself.

GET THE ROSEMARY’S BABY DVD HERE