IT’S THE BOOZE TALKIN’: Halloween is the best Holiday ever!

Last Updated on July 23, 2021

This is the time of year when you can’t help but see everything in orange and black, when every seemingly “normal” house is decked out with a fake cemetery in their front yard, and every porch for blocks on end is rockin’ a ghastly Jack-o-lantern, all in preparation for the one day of the year when everyone is a horror fan: Halloween. There are so many aspects about All Hallows Eve that makes it rock so hard that when you combine them all together, not only do you get a horror hound’s wet dream, but you also get the best holiday of the year! How so, you ask? Let me count the ways.

Atmosphere: what other time of the year do you see office buildings, schools, grocery stores, restaurants, and the freakin’ mall decked out with skeletons, hanging corpses, severed heads and other body parts, giant rats, humungous spiders, spider webs, and gothic décor straight out of Bram Stoker’s Dracula? There isn’t another time, thus making Halloween the most glorious time of the year for fans of gothic horror and horror films in general. When else can you live out your Hammer Films fantasy? Or get away with spooktafying your house with dead bodies and demonic shit without being labeled a freak? Halloween puts everyone in that spooky spirit by allowing a gothic atmosphere to be seen and had by all, making this a great time of year to be out and about.

Pumpkin Patches: to go along with atmosphere is the resurgence of hitting up a pumpkin patch to pick out the pumpkins you plan on gutting and slashing to make the ultimate Jack-o-lantern. Nothing says Fall or Halloween like the f*ckin’ pumpkin patch, where you’ll also usually find a corn maze or two to get lost in, and have flashbacks of such fine films as CHILDREN OF THE CORN. Pumpkin patch awesomeness adds to the spooky atmosphere and even brings you back to the days of yore. Hell, even the pumpkin bins in front of the grocery store these days do a damn good job at recreating the experience, so if a patch isn’t an option, there’s always Safeway or wherever you go.

Candy: I’m not just talking about trick or treating, which is an awesome way to spend an evening (begging for candy has never been so much fun), but rather just the sheer amount of candy that’s to be found in stores (aisles upon aisles!), not to mention in office cubes across the nation. I keep a dish stocked with candy corn and chocolately tastiness of bite-size candy bars for everyone to enjoy. Really, it’s hard not to pig out and go candy crazy this time of year. I love candy corn, the autumn mix, and the candy corn-like pumpkins so much I eat them like they’re going out of style, because… once November hits, they pretty much do go out of style until next Halloween!

Costumes: even if you don’t like dressing up or going to costume parties or anything like that, you have to admit that the fact that people like to dress up at this time of year as a ghastly ghoul or your favorite movie maniac is pretty flippin’ awesome. From the cute little kids that dress up like Peas in a Pod or a Bumble Bee or whatnot, to the wonderful age of about 18 years old when girls discover that it’s the one day of the year they can dress like total sluts and not only do they get to get away with it, but it’s socially accepted (and in some cases, expected!). Seriously, this is every geek’s fantasy come to life when a hoochied out Wonder Woman or Princess Leia can be seen at just about every party Halloween night. Or if sexy vampires, nurses, maids, or cats are you’re thing, well… you’re in luck there as well. On the other hand, you can also dig on what people come up with in terms of imaginative costumes, their own gory special effects, or if you ever wanted to know what it’d be like to live in a movie world were vampires and werewolves really do exist. Costumes are the shit and nobody can get away dressing up like anything they want during any other time of year.

Movies: From the avid horror fan who partakes in a 31 Days of Horror movie marathon to average movie watcher who never watches horror except for this time of year, Halloween is quite literally the only holiday of the year that an entire film genre is appropriate to celebrate it. Halloween equals horror movies, thus making it the biggest film holiday ever. For the horror hounds out there, it’s just an excuse to go movie watching crazy, catching up on the classics or just about any type of horror (new or revisited) we can get our hands on. And for the average movie watcher, it’s the time of year to convert those who normally wouldn’t think about watching a scary movie to check out something spooky and, often times, converting them to the “dark side”, making them horror fans and spreading the genre’s love deeper inside the film fan community. Plus, I gotta say, nothing gets me in the spirit of Halloween like throwing on HALLOWEEN (any of them really, even SEASON OF THE WITCH), TRICK ‘R TREAT, NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN CHARLIE BROWN, and just about any flick set around the 31st of October.

Maybe it’s the booze the talkin’, but Halloween is just about the best holiday ever! From Trick or treating and aisles of candy at the grocery store, to costumes worn by young and old, to pumpkin patches, corn mazes, spooky decorations, and atmosphere, and of course, then entire horror genre working at getting people in the spirit, Halloween is so full of awesomeness, it puts all the other Holiday’s to shame. And while some may argue for Christmas (and I’ll admit, it’s a close second), Halloween beats it tenfold as everyone can celebrate it, regardless of denomination, and no one has to feel obligated buying stuff for others and putting a hurtin’ on the wallet. As the infamous Jake Dee would say, Halloween is very “economical”, thus making it even more awesome than we ever thought before. Here’s to a fun night had by all, celebrate as you see fit (costume party, trick or treating, watching horror movies, or nothing if that’s your pleasure), and have a Happy Halloween!