HORROR TEN SPOT: Top 10 Resurrections

May 24th 2009, 11:19am

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

Of the many “rules” in a horror movie, probably the most reliable is that the killer is never, ever, really dead. You can proclaim The Final Chapter, or Freddy’s Dead all you want. But when push comes to shove, as long as a fanbase remains, and sometimes long after it’s dissipated, the killer WILL come back.

So while we’re used to seeing the bad guys come back, it actually happens so often that finding a noteworthy way to bring it off is difficult. Of course, that can just make it all the more fun when something unexpected, or just unexpectedly awesome brings the re-juice.

I don’t know if this list ultimately counts as a necrophiliac’s dream or nightmare, but nevertheless, if I’ve missed your fav dead-to-life reboot then spit at me below.

WARNING – DEAD BUT NOT REALLY AHEAD!

1. Eric Draven, THE CROW

I’m not even going to make mention of the irony here, because it just makes me sad. If I have to come back from the dead though, coming back as this iteration of The Crow would be a massively badass way to do it. Plus just think of all the goth tail you’d score.

2. Evil Ash, ARMY OF DARKNESS

Is there anything better than watching our favorite hero get attacked by mirror shards of himself, before a full blown evil version comes after him and then watch him put it down? Why yes. When said evil clone then leads an army of deadites against you and must be battled, it gets much better. Much better indeed.

3. Gage Creed, PET SEMATARY

Creepy evil f*cking kid who likes to cut tendons and look adorable while doing it. Pretty solid damn entry if you ask me. What really makes this one is the fact that it plays on dual levels. It pulls the heartstrings first for a grieving father, and then makes us dread the very bad decision he’s certain to make. Tough, nasty stuff all around.

4. Alex J. Murphy, ROBOCOP

One of the truly awesome things about this back from the deadening is that since we feel it so deeply when Officer Murphy bites it, and then slowly realizes in his new form just how much he’s lost, the sense of revenge he unleashes on the bad guys is palpable. It’s not just watching cold, hard justice in action. It’s like taking part in it. Cathartic for sure. And fun to boot!

5. Jason Voorhees, JASON X

There are so many opportunities in the F13 franchise to pick from, and watching Jason get brought back by an accidental lightening rod almost got the nod, as did the lake jump boo scare at the end of the first. However, there is just something about coming back from having half your body blasted away by a shotgun toting android, and then being brought back by nanobots as a homicidal metal monstrosity that just trumps all other considerations.

6. Imhotep, THE MUMMY

Two things working here. First of all, dude got screwed back in the day. Secondly, his slow morph return is fun as hell to watch and in the words of the great John Fallon, brutal as fuck when applied. It’s just fun to watch a dead dude come back to life by sucking the life out of other peeps.

7. Michael Myers, HALLOWEEN

Maybe one of the most iconic oh shit moments in slasher history is the moment that we all see the blank space of grass containing nothing but the outline of Michael Myers’ former “dead” body. Part of the juicy beauty of how Carpenter ended this sucker is that we never get the payoff. Usually that would piss me off, but in this case it works perfectly.

8. Roger, DAWN OF THE DEAD

Roger wants to fight it. To try to “not come back”. And dammit we want him to succeed. He’s been a pretty good guy, and definitely rocked enough bravery to deserve a better fate than this. But in zombieland nobody is safe, so indeed Roger comes back, tragically, and immediately gets a bullet through his head. I don’t think they make a Hallmark card for that occasion, but it would be kick ass if they did.

9. Leslie Vernon, BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON

This is a just a genius flick from start to finish, and the joy of seeing our man Leslie prop back up and do a little more killing over the end credits is a one of those great usages of credit watching time. Even better for genre fans is having Kane Hodder stand in as the meat to get diced in question. Just an overall satisfying end over end.

10. Samantha Pringle, DEADLY FRIEND

If Kristy Swanson wasn’t the actress behind this homicidal human/android hybrid rebirth then I’m honestly not sure it makes the list. After all, while nerds bringing neighbor girls back from the dead is sweet and all, it helps a whole lot when the girl in question looks like Ms. Swanson. Truthfully, it helps a whole helluva lot.