ShoWest: Love Guru!

As he was getting ready to introduce KUNG-FU PANDA at ShoWest, Jeffrey Katzenberg was talking about how he was here seven years ago for SHREK and how that character has been such a good luck charm for him and the entire studio. As they’re about to debut KUNG-FU PANDA for the first time, a nervous Katzenberg said he wishes his good luck charm were there with him. Enter Mike Myers.

A surprise for the ShoWest crowd, Myers came out to big applause and gave Katzenberg a big hug and complimented him on his ass (Myers couldn’t take his eyes off it). Myers then took over and introduced his LOVE GURU co-star, a very pregnant Jessica Alba. Mike said that Jessica was pregnant with his baby. Alba asked why Mike was starting crazy rumors and he said that with the state of entertainment journalism, he could make crazy shit up, no one would fact check it (ouch) and it would be some free publicity for THE LOVE GURU. Then he said he had a morbid fear of tunnels and sleeps in tin foil. Alba said she streaked naked through Ralph Macchio’s foyer. Banter aside, the two introduced a few clips from the film that provided a more optimistic look at LOVE GURU than the disappointing trailer.

CLIP #1 – Guru Pitka is in his classroom in Los Angeles preaching to his students. He talked about his ashram, which he says was handed down by his many teachers. Enter classic Mike Myers double entendre. They came too fast and were too hard to spell for me to write down but Ben Kingsley plays Guru Tugginmypudha and the rest were similar to that (one was something like “Guru Cheeseyfrumunda”). He spoke of how his guru had many wise pearls of wisdom (“A miracle is not walking on water but walking on Earth.”) until he contracted syphilis and his pearls became a little more demented.

CLIP #2 – The clip starts with Pitka and his servant playing “More Than Words” by Extreme on the sitar when Jessica Alba enters. The servant prepares their dinner and Pitka offers her lychees in a doughy pouch. As you might expect, it looks like a nutsac. The servant begins to pound them with a hammer and boil them in oil while Pitka groans and moans. This is also when you see that bit from the trailer about alligator soup as Pitka says, “And make it snappy. Because alligators are snappy and at the same time I want it prompt.”

CLIP #3 – Here we’re introduced to Justin Timberlake’s Jacques Grande (nicknamed Jacques le Cock because he’s packing some major heat). He’s at his house romancing the girlfriend of a fellow player. In the background Pitka is trying to spy on them but is intercepted by Jacques’ guard rooster. They have a brawl in the background while Jacques continues to romance (he offers a Quebec pizza – a Pop-Tart with ketchup). As Jacques leaves and Pitka bites the head off the rooster he comes in to try and break up the romance.

Afterwards the showed a quick montage of a bunch of clips like an extended version of the trailer. As I said before, I was wildly disappointed by the trailer but this footage showed much more promise. But Myers isn’t deviating too far from his schtick so if you like his style, you’ll dig it. If not, you’ll probably want to stick to TROPIC THUNDER.