C’mon Hollywood #157

… get a haircut Nic Cage!
by Sturdy

Being in a line of work that requires me to be clean shaven with a nice hair cut in order to look professional, I often times envy those that get to grow their hair out and go a few days without shaving. I always threaten to grow my hair out like the 90’s Steven Seagal; slick it back with a pony tail. Because as you know, that looks awesome. Unfortunately, everyone says I’d look like a 12 year old girl, so I’ve never had the guts to actually do it. I’ve noticed some actors in Hollywood have started wearing their hair long for movies and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.

Who wasn’t distracted by Tom’s hair in DA VINCI CODE?

I think Nicolas Cage is the biggest violator of the “no long hair for balding old men” rule. I don’t want to say he’s too old to wear his hair long, because some older guys can pull it off. The problem is that his balding, receding hair line makes him look like he should be singing in Crosby, Stills and Nash. A great band for sure, but not the examples of fashion today’s Hollywood stars should look to. I actually like Nic Cage as an actor, so it’s with the utmost respect that I ask that he please get a haircut!

Do they not give haircuts in prison?

There are definitely roles out there that would require a balding, middle-aged man to have his hair long. It’d be appropriate if he was playing a guy in a coma, or a cave man, or maybe he was just a damn hippie. So with some possible exceptions, there’s not much of a reason for Nic Cage to walk around with long hair. Running quickly over his resume, you can see that for several roles, he had his hair long. It was fine when he was playing a twenty-something loser in films like PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED or RAISING ARIZONA, but those were the 80’s and Nic Cage was actually close to being twenty-something. Now that he’s pushing 50, it’s getting a little embarrassing.

So did he steal a dog or not?

Take NEXT for example. Why did his character have long hair? Is it supposed to make him look younger? It doesn’t. Instead, it makes him look like an old guy trying to be young, which is worse than just being old. Forget for a second that the movie’s plot felt like it was structured by a fifth grader, the bigger problem was with Nic’s hair. It was practically a supporting actor. Was that supposed to be the trick for the audience to accept Cage and Biel together?

No matter how hard you try, you can’t turn back time.

Now we have the upcoming BANGKOK DANGEROUS, where Nic Cage’s long hair and receding hair line make their glorious comeback. Here, he plays a hit man that gets personally attached to a victim. This is a great plot because I was just thinking how few movies there are where the hit man gets attached to a victim. It’s been at least three weeks since I’ve seen one. But I digress. The point is Nic Cage’s hair looks ridiculous and out of place…again.

Just cut your hair!

Is it just me, or is his hair thinning out also? So now his hair is getting thinner AND falling out. Couple that with the receding hair line and he’s practically turned into George Costanza. Nic has held on to his long hair for several years past what he should have. Now is the time to get a hair cut and let nature take its course. He’s still a fine actor that makes some decent movies. It’s just now he needs to make them with short hair.