Bay vs McG 2.0

I have a bigger member than my brother. Brad Pitt’s is bigger than George Clooney’s, and Damon’s is bigger than Affleck’s. This much, we know is true. What we haven’t yet figured out is who is bigger: McG or Michael Bay?

They may be the proprietors of two of the biggest films this summer, and have as of late been talking a lot of smack between one another; but we still want to know: who hangs lowest? In a new interview with Men/Style, McG kind of insinuates that he is in fact, more of a man.

Michael Bay has a big c*ck. But I’d like to believe mine is bigger. If he’s up for it, we can both reveal ourselves on the Spartacus steps at Universal and put the question to rest.

Tickets for the bout are now on sale for an absurd amount of dollars, but if you’re a firm believer in the power of cinema–like me–I say we let the robots fight it out this summer, and the two directors can go quietly into the night and suck themselves off, for all we care.