Last Updated on August 3, 2021
1. THE UNTOUCHABLES (1987)
Exaggerating is fun. That’s why knowing that most of the shit that goes down between Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) and Al Capone (Robert De Niro) in this film never really happened doesn’t really matter to me. Jim Malone (Sean Connery) is still one of my favourite characters of all time and watching Frank Nitti (Billy Drago) fly off that roof at the end is what dreams are made of. Did anyone else notice that the top three movies on this list took place in Chicago? Represent Moreno!
2. THE FUGITIVE (1993)
One of, if not the only, movie associated with a television series to be nominated for Best Picture. Tommy Lee Jones also got nominated that night and ended up taking home the Oscar for his portrayal of Deputy United States Marshal Samuel Gerard. Harrison Ford never got the praise Jones did but he too shines here as Dr. Richard Kimble in search for the one-armed man that killed his wife.
3. THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980)
There’s no denying my love for John Belushi. The fact that I can actually remember the day I heard there was going to be a Blues Brothers movie is kind of weird. I was six years old, how the hell did I know who the Blues Brothers were? Where were my parents? Why did I have a smoker’s cough? Theatrically, the greatest thing that will ever come from SNL
4. THE NAKED GUN (1988)
Two Ricardo Montalban movies in one Ten Spot? You’re damn right. I don’t care who you think you are – if you have never laughed at Lt. Frank Drebin at some point in your life, you suck. The parody movie is a fine art and hasn’t been done this well since (SCARY MOVIE comes close though). It’s also fun to revisit if only to realize how hilarious O.J. Simpson actually was before becoming a deliverer of death.
5. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE (1996)
Take one of the biggest stars in the world and give him the greatest theme song in the world and watch the magic happen. Spectacular stunts and outrageous back-stabbing only add to the fun. Having the original show’s main character as the bad guy didn’t go over too well with die hard fans but rumour is, Tom Cruise can do whatever the f*ck he wants. That includes having all die hard fans of the original show killed.
6. SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER, & UNCUT (1999)
Easily one of the top five funniest films I’ve ever seen in a theatre. Just when you thought the television show had broken every rule and offended every asshole in the world, the movie comes along and almost makes you feel like you’re doing something morally wrong by watching. I never thought I’d see a musical number in a cartoon start with the line “Shut your f*cking face uncle f*cka”, continue with a chorus that consisted of just farts, and then end with such a meaningful statement as “Suck my balls.”
7. WAYNE’S WORLD (1992)
Turning a three minute skit into a full length movie isn’t an easy task. Most of the movies spawned by ‘Saturday Night Live’ aren’t even half as funny as their spots on the show. Wayne and Garth pulled it off though, mostly because this was Mike Myers at his absolute prime and Dana Carvey didn’t really say much. It’s hard to watch SNL recently and imagine any of their characters getting their own film.
8. STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN (1982)
Every geek has his own favourite STAR TREK adventure, this just happens to be mine. To be honest though I kind of lost track of these movies after Spock was f*cking around with those whales in part 4. Or was that part 5? Whatever, seeing Ricardo Montalban oil up and strut around with his shirt open while sporting a grey mullet is fantastic.
9. TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE (1983)
With a concept that so easily translates into film, I can’t figure out why someone hasn’t tried to make another one of these. For years, the collaboration of three amazing directors (Joe Dante, John Landis, and Steven Spielberg all direct separate segments) was overshadowed by the death of actor Vic Morrow and two children during an on-set helicopter accident. The demand for the film on DVD grows every day as does the demand for a revival of this series that doesn’t suck.
10. SERENITY (2005)
It was a dream come true for thousands of fans of the cult television hit, ‘Firefly’. It’s not too often that a failed TV show gets another chance on the big screen. Even less often does that movie make almost $40 million worldwide at the box office and satisfy the majority of fanboys across the internet. It’s just proof that if you bitch loud enough, sometimes it pays off. Now about that “Arrested Development” movie….
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