Hotties vs. Geeks II

1. Green Hulkish Guy vs. The Rack

Vs.

See how everything is blurred behind The Rack? That’s how it all went down. She arrived into my life in movie-type slow motion, hair blowing in the stale convention air. Hulkish Guy came at her strong but was caught in the hypnotic powers of her gun(s) and was defeated by his own libido. Geeks 3 – Hotties 7
It wasn’t much of a rematch but entertaining nonetheless. I look forward to seeing the Geeks gameplan for next year. Will the Hotties 3-peat? Probably. Will I ever pay to take pictures of someone’s ass again? Most definitely. See you next year.

2. Freddy vs. IESB Hotness

Vs.

These are the women that airbrushed their boobs in the JoBlo.com VIP suite during the Wrath of Con. This is a badass Freddy Krueger costume. It was a really close fight but Freddy ended up slashing the shit out of the ladies when they were distracted by Ammon’s goofy face. He stayed behind them like that all night. Geek 3 – Hotties 6

3. Crazy Old Man vs. Crazy Hot Bartender

Vs.

One of these pictures cost me $5. I’ll let you guess which one it was. Crazy Old Man puts up a good battle but runs out of Viagra at a pivotal moment in the battle. This Bartender was rude, sarcastic, conceited, and bitchy. If she wasn’t so hot she would have lost for sure. This is getting ugly. Geeks 2 – Hotties 6

4. Pikachu vs. Ass

I’m a 35-year-old Canadian man. I have no idea what Pikachu is all about. That doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to hug this silly son of a bitch all day long. I also wanted to hug the ass. Both would have caused me all sorts of trouble. Only one would be worth it. Geeks 2 – Hotties 5

5. Monster Mash vs. Bathing Suit Woman

Can you just wear a hot bathing suit and hand out unnecessary shit on the convention floor for us? Yes. Can you put on this giant monster suit and try not to die of heat exhaustion while we promote something nobody cares about? Yes. Guess who did a better job. Geeks 2 – Hotties 4

6. Optimus Moreno vs. Supes & Wonder

I don’t understand how Johnny Moreno had the time to change into this costume as we were walking around the floor, but there he is. And there are two hot super-babes in fuck-me boots. Who do you think wins this? GEEKS 2 – HOTTIES 3

7. Captain Whatever vs. Batgirl

Somebody help me out with that dude’s costume up there. It’s been bothering me for the last couple seconds. I’m over it, forget it. It doesn’t matter anyway, Batgirl whoops his ass so bad, he doesn’t even know who he’s supposed to be. GEEKS 2 – HOTTIES 2

8. Old School Cyclons vs. Short Shorts

Immediately after that pic of the Cylons, they ate that little girl. It was horrifying. I didn’t even know they ate humans. This woman turned a little to her right and completely disappeared. I was lucky to get this shot before it happened. Both were impressive acts but Cylons rule. I’ve never seen shorts that small. Seriously. GEEKS 2 – HOTTIES 1

9. The Green Lantern vs. The Inflatable Dick Licker

This chick was sitting next to us at our annual JoBlo.com staff dinner which took place once again at Dick’s Last Resort. Then somebody threw an inflatable cock at her and she unveiled her super powers. Lantern has the pose down but loses points for trying to inflate his own package. GEEKS 1 – HOTTIES 1

10. Twilight-Line Joker vs. The Way Too Much Clothes Duo

If you’ve heard anything about me and Hall H this past weekend you’d know that we left on bad terms. The line-up for TWILIGHT kept me in the blazing hot sun for four hours listening to little girls and strange little boys listing the ways to be a dreamy vampire. Joker made me giggle. That was enough for me. Ladies, lose the combat gear and angelic wings and we’ll talk. GEEKS 1 – HOTTIES 0