Awfully Good: Dinocroc vs. Supergator

August 10th 2011, 8:45am

Dinocroc vs. Supergator (2010)

Director: Jim Wynorski
Stars: David Carradine, Corey Landis, Amy Rasimas

Is there a plot?

Two giant reptiles escape, eat people and then fight each other.

What’s the damage?

At this point I’m getting a little tired of shitty SciFi Channel Original films. As they make them more purposefully bad and outlandish, they lose some of the natural charm and fun. Really, the only reason I watched DINOCROC VS SUPERGATOR is that JoBlo sent it to me to review. But truthfully, it was on the better side of mediocre. At least it has its moments.

We really should’ve seen it coming when Carradine tried to play dead on set.

Perhaps some of that can be attributed to director by Jim Wynorski, a veteran B-movie filmmaker whose credits extend from “classic” horror like CHOPPING MALL and GHOULIES 4 to softcore adaptations like THE BARE WENCH PROJECT and THE DA VINCI CO-ED. Wynorski wastes absolutely no time getting to what’s important. The very first shot of the movie is the Dinocroc (or Supergator…I couldn’t tell and it really doesn’t matter in the movie) escaping and eating people. We find out the scientists at Sector 13 were using an enhanced “growth matrix,” originally designed to grow giant vegetables, to make big ass reptiles. Of course they did not realize this was a bad idea at the time.

Perhaps it was out of some competitive instinct that Martha automatically yelled out, “Halfsies!”

Where DINOCROC VS SUPERGATOR kind of goes off the rails in a fun way is just how many ridiculous characters they try to cram in to this 90 minute movie. First, there’s the esteemed David Carradine in one of his final roles, spending his entire screentime as the villain sitting by a pool drinking. (SPOILER: Just when you think he’s going to finally go Kung Fu when the FBI busts in to his house, Carradine’s character immediately dies of a heart attack. Convenient.) In addition to the killed Bill, the film also follows his incompetent security forces, depressing mercenaries and idiot scientists as they attempt to track down the title characters. Then there’s the busty wildlife officer (take a shot for ever button of her uniform she leaves open), her cop father who looks like an aging Patrick Warburton, and the random engineer/government spy she runs in to and subsequently falls in love with. (His backstory—he’s obsessed with his Hawaiian shirt.) And finally you have The Cajun, the redneck version of Crocodile Dundee who should be the most formidable hunter but instead spends the entire film standing around looking like Michael Vartan while everyone else does all the work.

As the world’s greatest child photographer, Stefan pulled out all the stops when it came to getting kids to smile for the camera.

Oh, and who could forget Jerry the Pool Boy, who’s single scene in the film leaves the biggest impression, even becoming something of a sensation on E!’s “The Soup” with Joel McHale. His classic line, “That I do, sir!” almost justifies the existence of DINOCROC VS SUPERGATOR on its own. Even better is the fact that Jerry’s brief conversation with an arriving movie studio executive (who mocks the SAW franchise) literally exists only to set up a character who will be immediately killed in his next scene. That’s right DINOCROC VS SUPERGATOR is so badass it even gives backstory to its random victims.

Another happy SPY KIDS 4 customer.

Aside from the cast the movie is fairly generic SciFi Channel stuff (bad CGI, horrible script, even worse acting), but it has a few nice touches. There’s extended flashbacks to something that happened earlier in the movie, which means they literally reuse minutes worth of footage. Also “special” is the fact that everyone in the movie is obsessed with “MP4 technology.” Any time data is mentioned the character randomly insists that it be in MP4 format, which makes me applaud the filmmakers’ adherence to quality multimedia compression. And finally, there’s a memorable sequence that references an Indiana Jones movie. Unfortunately that movie is KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL and that sequence is the “nuke the fridge” moment.

The August meeting of the Honorary Steve Irwin Fan Club gathers.