Where on the Shelf Is…Nothing Lasts Forever?

Welcome to “Where on the Shelf Is…” In this column, I look at great TV shows and movies that have never been on DVD and/or Blu-ray. For your pleasure and out of all of our frustrations, this column examines the Where, When and, of course, WHY?! of these non-releases.

Up this week is…NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

What Is It?:

When SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni get together to make a movie, the results can vary. Some are modern comedy classics, like WAYNE’S WORLD and MEAN GIRLS. Others are forgettable duds, like STUART SAVES HIS FAMILY and BLACK SHEEP.

And others simply can’t be judged, as they’ve never been made available to the public. In 1984, Lorne Michaels and SNL writer Tom Schiller teamed up for NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, a sci-fi comedy in the broadest use of the term.

In addition to Murray, the supporting cast also included Dan Aykroyd, Mort Sahl and Sam Jaffe. That’s two Ghostbusters, a JFK BFF and Gunga Din, for those keeping score at home.

Where Is It?:

So where is NOTHING LASTS FOREVER? It’s not like it starred Rob Schneider, Terry Sweeney and the 1980-’81 SNL cast.

Once MGM, who thought the screenplay strong enough to throw $3 million at, viewed the finished product, they refused to release it—a move that Schiller believes happened because “they didn’t think it was commercial.” The studio even refused to let Schiller and company take the movie to Cannes, where it undoubtedly would have won the Palme d’Or. Instead, that year MGM put their chips on THE ICE PIRATES, starring Anjelica Huston and Bruce Vilanch.

But the major issue in regards to home video lies in “unspecified legal difficulties.” This limbo likely has something to do with the number of clips (everything from BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN to I LOVE LUCY) used in the movie to give it its vintage, black-and-white feel. Without those, the movie has no, uh…poignancy?

As for any potential home video release, a representative at Warner Bros. (who now owns the rights) has stated that the movie is “on the middle burner — not the front, but not the back.” We’d imagine this metaphorical middle burner is somewhere behind THE WIZARD OF OZ: 76th ANNIVERSARY EDITION box set, which will no doubt include a replica oil can and bale of straw.

When Will We See It?:

In order for a proper DVD or Blu-ray of NOTHING LASTS FOREVER to be even close to a reality, Warner Bros. would have to obtain rights from Kino, Paramount and any other studio that owns the films featured in the movie.

And that’s just not in their pipeline, even though Murray has expressed interest in participating on the DVD. As it stands, there’s a better shot at getting a remastered laserdisc of that other WB sci-fi classic…

Where Can We See It?:

Despite being canned 30 years ago, NOTHING LASTS FOREVER has been screened a handful of times, notably at the 2009 Olympia Film Festival and at Grauman’s Egyptian Theatre in 2010.

As for alternate ways to see it, there’s always YouTube. While you’re there, you may as well watch Dan Aykroyd talk about UFOs for 90 minutes:

Is one of your favorite movies or TV shows not available on DVD or Blu-ray? Leave your suggestions below or shoot me an e-mail at [email protected].