First image of Jamie Dornan in Fifty Shades of Grey is unsurprisingly boring

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

E. L. James initially wrote fanfiction under the pen name "Snowqueens Icedragon", with her most notable work being a Twilight fanfiction that eventually became Fifty Shades of Grey. This is why we're getting a movie adaptation and why menopausal women have been forgetting to feed their cats ever since. She realized Twilight fans will buy anything and turned her ripped off stories into the pseudo erotica; there will be line ups around the block for this movie.

Here's the book synopsis:

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

We have the first FIFTY SHADES OF GREY image of Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey because it's apparently that fictional characters birthday (sorry).

If you couldn't tell by my rant above, I'm not the audience for this movie so I don’t plan on seeing Christian Grey beat Anastasia Steele on the big screen. I understand the need for women, with so much entertainment directed towards men, to grab onto something and make it their own. I just wish it was something worth being excited about so we could all get along.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson (NOWHERE BOY), is set to hit theaters on February 13, 2015.