Eurotrip

Having just graduated from high school, a couple of buddies head on over to Europe in order for one of them to hook up with his German Internet penpal. Arriving in England, the goofy duo realize that their trip is going to take longer than anticipated and spend a lot of time drinking, partying and cavorting in all things sexual. They meet a couple of their friends in Paris and continue their trek with them…drinking, partying and cavorting in all things sexual. Kinda like my life, expect for the partying, cavorting and Paris (although I listen to French music in the background when I drink…does that count?) A European road trip ensues!

This is a fun movie, plain and simple. It’s from the “makers” of OLD SCHOOL and ROAD TRIP, and as opposed to many other films that try to pass themselves off as other previously successful movies, it actually feels like it was created by the same clowns who made those flicks. It’s juvenile, it’s loud, it’s loaded with profanity, drinking, drugs, sex, nudity…basically, everything you ever wanted in your teen movie…and more! It’s really simple stuff and just like many of my conquests in bed…flies by in an instant. It’s quick, easy, not too messy and a good ol’ time at the theater, that is, if your idea of a “good time at the theater” is watching a bunch of teens travel through Europe while making fun of most every European stereotype there is, boozing it up, being “dumb Americans” and having an all-around b-b-blast! Hasselhoff!! I’ve personally done the “Euro trip” a couple of times myself and hand to God, a lot of this shite actually touched home. Some Italian dude really DID try to one-up me in a train once! That aside, you can’t really go into this film expecting much from its plot because other than a vague thru-line about one of the lead kids heading to Germany to hook up with his Internet honey-bunny, it’s basically just a bunch of slapped-together sketch pieces featuring various attempts at humor, some of which involve alcohol, others which involve nude beaches and a gaggle of penises, others which involve incest and others still, which involve a hot couple slam-dunking each others privates in a Vatican confessional booth.

If those types of bits offend you, it’s probably best that you stay away from this flick, because unlike the previously mentioned movies, this one doesn’t use the “gross-out” angle all that much (thank God!), but does step up the sex thang and for the most part, works. All that said, you gotta consider the fact that I’m also pretty immature and that I still like to drink like a champ and “rock” whenever I can. This movie made me feel like rockin’, I tell ya. Great soundtrack, too…loaded with catchy punk/rock songs that will stick in your head for a while. But I leave the best for last and that is a song contained in this film that has got to be one of the funniest things I’ve heard in quite some time. If you see this movie, and even more so, if you enjoy it, you will surely not be able to get “Scotty Doesn’t Know” out of your head…trust me! Both the rockin’ tune and its hilarious lyrics pulled me right into this movie’s vibe and I was hooked, fucked and sinkered from there on in. The characters were also decent, specifically Scotty’s bud, Cooper, played by Jacob Pitts. He basically looked and acted like David Spade…but it worked! The lead guy also spoke like Hayden Christensen, but he was a-yight, I guess. Michelle Trachtenberg, better known as HARRIET THE FUCKIN’ SPY to most of you, was also a nice pick here. Nice bottom, too. On the downside, some of the over-the-top stereotypical jokes were lame, and the film’s final 15-20 minutes weren’t as good as its first two-thirds, with bits feeling somewhat contrived and corny by the end.

That said, EUROTRIP also includes one of the better cameos that I’ve seen in quite some time (Go Matt!) as well as plenty of T, A and even P and B! So if you enjoyed Kip Pardue’s 3-minute sprint through Europe and its many vices in THE RULES OF ATTRACTION, just multiply that by thirty, loosen your belt-buckle and enjoy this amusing ode to being young, dumb and full of…spunk. Fun Fuckin’ Times. “Scotty Doesn’t Know…Don’t Tell Scotty!!!”

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian