Diaper up! The Rise of Skywalker is the longest Star Wars film yet

Last Updated on July 30, 2021

In the immortal words of Terry Crews' Sgt. Terry Jeffords of BROOKLYN NINE-NINE, "diaper up!" It's been revealed that J.J. Abrams' STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER clocks in at an astounding 155 minutes! That's two hours and thirty-five minutes of intense, interstellar action, Kylo Ren's broodtastic Dark Side tantrums, and closure to one of the greatest sci-fi sagas of all time. The runtime for the latest chapter of Star Wars shenanigans was unveiled courtesy of AMC Theaters, who upon releasing tickets to one of the biggest movie events of the year, cited the film's official length. As your attorney I advice you to plan your bathroom breaks accordingly. Perhaps you should even take a note from Lisa Nowak, the American engineer, naval flight officer and NASA astronaut, who on February 5, 2007, wore maximum-absorption garments—government-issued astronaut diapers—during her 950-mile drive from Houston to Orlando to confront her former lover’s girlfriend, Colleen Shipman, a U.S. Air Force engineer.

You think that's funny, huh? You won't be laughing when your bladder starts screaming during an exciting lightsaber battle, or quite possibly the moment in which Rey's true lineage is exposed.

Just for fun, I'd like to present you with a list of how STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER's runtime measures up to all of the other films in the beloved Star Wars saga:

• Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977) -121 Minutes
• Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) -124 Minutes
• Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) -131 Minutes
• Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) -136 Minutes
• Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) -142 Minutes
• Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005) -140 Minutes
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) -138 Minutes
• Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) -133 Minutes
• Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) -152 Minutes
• Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) -135 Minutes
• Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker (2019) -155 Minutes

Are you the type of Star Wars fan who delights in hosting a mammoth marathon of all the previous films before diving into the new one? If so, might I recommend that you practice your war face, and plot that gauntlet with care. After all, the last thing you'd want is for some gross miscalculation to ravage your time more than Jabba the Hut does a jar full of Klatoonie paddy frogs.

STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER stars Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, Lupita Nyong'o, Kelly Marie Tran, Naomi Ackie, Keri Russell, Billie Lourd, Richard E. Grant, and Joonas Suotamo, in addition to franchise veterans Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, and Ian McDiarmid.

STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER will hit theaters on December 20, 2019.