The Test of Time: Piranha (1978)

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

We all have certain movies we love. Movies we respect without question because of either tradition, childhood love, or because they’ve always been classics. However, as time keeps ticking, do those classics still hold up? Do they remain must see? So…the point of this column is to determine how a film holds up for a modern horror audience, to see if it stands the Test of Time.

DIRECTED BY JOE DANTE

STARRING BRADFORD DILLMAN, HEATHER MENZIES, DICK MILLER, PAUL BARTEL, KEVIN MCCARTHY

Is it just us, or does there seem to be an obligatory JAWS knockoff released in theaters every summer? Let’s see. There was THE SHALLOWS in 2016, 47 METERS DOWN in 2017, THE MEG last year, and the upcoming 47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED due next month. Case rested!

According to Steven Spielberg himself however, none other than the 1978 Roger Corman produced, Joe Dante directed PIRANHA (WATCH IT HERE)  has been called “the best of the Jaws rip-offs.” In fact, Universal was so incensed by the overt crib job of their landmark blockbuster that they attempted to sue New World Pictures for a plagiaristic breach. It was only when Spielberg interceded with positive sentiments about the film that the lawsuit was summarily dropped. Cut five years ahead to Spielberg’s collaboration with Dante on TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE, a tight relationship that would ultimately yield the classic Amblin horror flick GREMLINS.

Not to veer off topic too much, for the point is to see, 41 years since ferociously feasting on filmgoers everywhere, how well PIRANHA has maintained its meritorious luster as the best JAWS homage to date. Not just on its own, mind you, but one must factor in how, if at all, the unadulterated camp and kitsch of the two 21st century retcons – PIRANHA 3D and PIRANHA 3DD – have appreciated or depreciated the original. So get out the goddamn sunscreen, slap on some shades and mix up a stiff cocktail. It’s PIRANHA vs. The Test of Time below!

THE STORY: Written by one of the most unsung of original American cinematic voices in John Sayles, who used the profits of PIRANHA as his first screenwriting credit to fund his own indie films, the story features a scathing indictment of secret military experimentation. On Lost River Lake, a pair of horny teenagers goes skinny dipping in a sectioned-off pond at night, only to be viciously assaulted by an unseen aquatic menace until they disappear underwater. Notice the way in which Dante undercuts the JAWS imitation critique by cheekily having a character play the JAWS arcade game in the beginning of the film.

Anyway, a skiptracer named Maggie (Heather Menzies) is dispatched to locate the teens, and finds help from a local gruff drunkard named Paul Grogan (Bradford Dillman) to do so. Near the pond, the two happen upon a military fish hatchery festooned with freaky mutations held in mason jars. Soon they locate one of the primary scientists assigned to the case, Dr. Robert Hoak (Kevin McCarthy), who explains that a breed of mutated, highly aggressive, flesh-eating fish were created by the military under the name Operation Razortooth with plans to drop in the rivers of Vietnam to help defeat the Viet Cong and win the war. However, the war ended before the experiment was completed, leaving an excess of ravenously toothy schools of piranha behind.

As summer resorts on the river begin filling up with children in the area, the worst thing imaginable transpires. Maggie and Paul accidentally drain the pond and release the piranha into the river streams. Incredulous at first, the first sign of proof comes when the trio rafts toward a barking dog on a dock, which signals its owner Jack’s (Keenan Wynn) gorily mandicated feet gnawed to the bone. With blood in the water, Grogan must not only save his own daughter Suzie (Shannon Collins) at camp, but must also save the public from the festivities of the Aquarena, a river-jamboree thrown by socialite Buck Gardner (Dante mainstay Dick Miller). Rounding out the cast is Paul Bartel as cruel camp counselor Mr. Dumont, the lovely Barbara Steele as a fish expert Dr. Mengers, and Sayles himself as a dopey army sentry.

WHAT HOLDS-UP: Not to overstate the obvious, but for a movie made in just 30 days for a mere $60,000 or so, Joe Dante overachieved with underwhelming resources in a way that’s still admirable today. And let’s not forget it was his first solo directorial feature! Now, it surely helps having Sayles’ screenplay as a sturdy foundational blueprint, but when it comes down to it, the things that standout most about PIRANHA four decades later is the sheer amount of fatal bloodshed, the more-is-less FX work by 17-year old Rob Bottin, and to help reinforce the emotional impact of said indefatigable death-toll, the memorable musical score by Italian maestro Pino Donaggio.

Where PIRANHA deliberately sets itself apart from JAWS is in the decision to multiply the onscreen carnage and concomitant death toll. After tallying a quick five dead bodies that are voraciously gnawed down to the skeletal remains, Dante takes a quick respite before returning to the fiendish feeding frenzy. Before we single out some of the best of the bunch, it’s worth noting how each attack features the same manic-bubbling-geyser-of-gore aesthetic that is the trademark signature of the entire film. Between the violent-underwater-volcano-of-blood FX that still holds up today due to its low-fi technique, and the sound of the relentless piranha gnashing and ripping through human flesh and bone, the deaths in PIRANHA are still pretty gnarly by today’s standard. Word from Dante on the 2004 DVD commentary is that the droning sound of the piranha attacks was created by firing dental drills underwater.

There are three deaths in particular that not only feature the aforesaid grue-geyser, but also showcase the impressive special effects work of fresh-faced Rob Bottin. The great Rick Baker was originally tapped to do the makeup and FX, but he in turn recommended Bottin for the job, who would go on to become one of the preeminent FX man in the horror realm. The first death is both startling to peer at as well as heartbreaking to think about. Although ancillary characters dubbed as Boy in Canoe (Jack Pauleson) and Father in Canoe (Eric Henshaw), when Paul and Maggie find a kid stranded on a tipped-over canoe, they reach out to help. The boy’s father is not only gorily masticated right in front of him – with a well of blood bubbling up like lava – when his saviors show up, they immediately toss the father as a sacrificial snack to the uncouth fish as the poor kid cries out for his father. It’s just as much a jolt to the heart as it is to the eye!

Where PIRANHA hews to JAWS’ brilliant technical design is in the choice to withhold the piranha from sight until the climax. This is certainly due to necessity, as just like the troubled production of JAWS, PIRANHA struggled with underwater camera malfunctions and broken FX rigs. However, another absolute standout scene that still holds up today is the death of camp counselor Betsy (Belinda Belaski). Arguably the most graphic fatality, Betsy has her midriff shredded to the bone in mere seconds when a school of piranha goes on the offensive. Word is Corman felt the original scene lacked enough blood and demanded a reshoot. The scene was shot in a swimming pool, with 30 rubber piranha attached to her body with ropes attached as crewmembers pulled her into the deep end of the pool, making it appear as if she was sinking. It’s a hell of feat, and one that still holds up and stands out!

Last but not least is the child massacre of the last 30 minutes or so. Straight up, putting children in danger or depicting their brutally incurred violence is still a major taboo 40 years later. And yet, Dante had the balls to stick to Sayles script and not only threaten children, but vitiate and victimize the little bastards to the tune of grisly death. Major props! Speaking of props, the way in which the piranha were depicted was by using rubber puppet fish tied to the end of sticks, a low-fi method that is so practical it hardly ages. By the time the final massacre happens, resulting in a chaotic outburst of panic and pandemonium – punctuated by piercing eruptions of blood – much of the fear derives from the sense that the humans are losing control of the situation. It’s here where all of the movies strong points converge – Sayles script, the over-the-top gore, the impressive FX-work by Bottin (which cost around $50,000), and of course, the score by Donaggio (which cost another $10,000).

In just his second score since the indelible CARRIE soundtrack, Donaggio’s PIRANHA score not only holds up, but truly adds to the overall experience. The arrangements that span from the soft and romantically idyllic to the jarring car-horn-like alarms, to the stinging and hyper-frenzied orchestration, the score feels both old-school and modern at once. He includes jazzy piano riffs, low-pitched strings, high and low pitched synths, all of which combine to become an aural asset that ameliorates the overall assay.

WHAT BLOWS NOW: Most of what blows now about PIRANHA can be seen in direct contrast to the ridiculously over-the-top remake and remade sequel, PIRANHA 3D and 3DD. While Dante’s PIRANHA has its fair share of laughs, the updates took the humor to such campy and cartoonish heights that it made the original feel like a goddamn Bergman film. The infectious fun and lascivious attitude of those flicks feels lacking when revisiting the original. Which sort of sucks. And aside from what does become a bit repetitive – the aforementioned bubbling-geyser attacks – what really sort of blows now is the fact that the badass Peter Fonda turned down the role of Grogan. Personally speaking, I’ve never been a fan of the way Dillman portrays the character with a humorless monotony and uptight demeanor. Peter Fonda could have instantly lent an intangible coolness that, looking back, would surely make the movie more memorable if not outright better. Seriously Peter, you chose to make a flick called HIGH-BALLIN’ instead of PIRANHA? Joke’s on you sir!

THE VERDICT: PIRANHA doesn’t feel 41 years old. That said, it doesn’t feel like it were made just yesterday either. On the whole however, because of the inherent talent of screenwriter John Sayles and director Joe Dante, PIRANHA overcame its production woes at the time to become a classically bona fide B-movie creature-feature. With a robust amount of deaths and corresponding gore, stunning FX work by Rob Bottin and team, and the emotional cues of Pino Donaggio’s well-rounded score, PIRANHA is so far treating the Test of Time like its own savagely ravaged victims!

GET PIRANHA ON MULTI-FORMAT HERE