Uma’s Mission

Don’t ask me what I was doing on Allocine.fr, a French movie site, but that’s where I came across an ad for a movie called MISSION ZERO, which to my surprise stars Uma Thurman and is directed by POINT BREAK helmer Kathryn Bigelow, who I know from my days as an extra on K-19: THE WIDOWMAKER.

Perplexed that a big actioner starring Uma Thurman went undetected by my upcoming movie radar, I immediately sensed foul play, whipped out my trusty magnifying glass, and decided to go on a private investigation rampage. I hopped into a cab and headed over to imdb.com to check out Uma Thurman’s upcoming filmography. Nothing. Next, I went to Ms. Bigelow’s filmography and did indeed see MISSION ZERO, so I clicked it. It was suspiciously desolate, but being the superior detective that I am, I gathered two clues: Uma Thurman is starring as ‘herself’ and the film’s running time is eight minutes.

Puzzled, I decided to return to the scene of the crime and click on the baffling ad itself. It took me to a mysterious website called Pirelli Film where I was given the option to ‘view the film.’ View the film? You mean all I had to do was click on the ad in the first place and I could just ‘view the film?’ Why didn’t the ad just say so? Needless to say I viewed the film, and the clues I gathered were right: it is 8 minutes and Uma Thurman does star as herself. Are you also curious about what MISSION ZERO is? Don’t waste your time solving the non-existent mystery like I did, and just click HERE to ‘view the film’.