Last Updated on July 23, 2021
Not much pretense to this week’s list. It’s summer time and PIRAHNA 3-D is getting ready to hit screens, so we’re going to take a look at some of the most awesome water monsters that have ever tried to take a bite out of moviegoers.
Now this is the type of list where #1 is most likely obvious, especially since I’m writing it while hanging around the beaches of Cape Cod, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all hopefully enjoy the journey to get there.
So grab some sunscreen and jump into the water with us, and spit bullets if your favorite aquatic beast isn’t given its props.
WARNING – HYDROPHOBIA ENHANCERS BELOW!
5. CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
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This was the first time that my young brain became aware of the amazing possibilities when you mix an aquamonster and women in bathing suits. There’s something so damn hot and vulnerable about the whole scenario. Plus, as awkward as the Gillman may seem today, it still works to create some decent scares even for a modern audience upon initial viewing. Pretty powerful mojo right there.
4. 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA
Buy the 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA DVD here
If you had asked me to describe the trailer for this flick when I saw it as a lad I probably would have answered, “Men get eaten by a giant squid.” That is all that mattered in the movie to me. Not submarines or undersea domiciles, not even tales, no matter how whale-like. Just men fighting a giant squid. Come to think of it, not much concerning my opinion of the flick has changed to this day. That badass beast may have had only minutes of screen time, but this squid proves there are no small parts, just small actors.
3. THE HOST
I can’t say I was as knocked out by the movie as a whole as many of my horror loving compatriots, but one thing THE HOST gave us in spades was a kick ass monster that managed to be unique, aggressive, scary, and as much of a dangerous switch hitter as our croc friend from LAKE PLACID. This bastard meant business and brought the hammer down hard and often.
2. DEEP RISING
To me these water loving f*cker uppers are my favorite wet killers other than the impending brute at #1. Looking like the lovechild of Graboids from TREMORS and the new vamps in BLADE II, it’s hard not to get chills with the terrified ambiance that’s used to introduce these nasties. It’s quite a while til we see them, and that can work against the filmmaker when the madness becomes visible. Not in this case however as you get a balls out creature design that earns its keep and then some.
1. JAWS
No surprise here I guess, but that’s because in the words of Carly Simon, “Nobody does it better.” If your view of being in the water hasn’t been messed with by Bruce then you haven’t seen the film. There’s not a single creature in the history of film that single-handedly made 3/4’s of the earth’s surface seem terrifying. Since then we’ve had lots of cool sharks in film, but nothing that comes close to the original.
Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at [email protected]
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