"Ding, Dong...you're dead"

A little "House" history for your melon: Writer/director Fred Dekker (the man behind the great "Night of the Creeps") once came up with an idea for a story. And I quote: "A guy goes into a house at the beginning…at the end, he comes out and in between is the scariest shit I could ever think of." He even came up for a title for that genius thought, it was called "House".

Being too lazy to actually write the screenplay at the time, he let his friend and fellow screenwriter, Ethan Wiley have a crack at it. Boy, was Fred surprised when at the end of it all, Ethan handed him a horror comedy as opposed to the hardcore horror flick he had in mind. When the dust cleared, producer Sean Cunningham (of Friday the 13th fame) loved the piece and found the financing. Steve Miner (of 'H20" infamy) directed it and Fred Dekker got a story credit. Although "House" didn’t end up being the film that Dekker had in mind, it still wound up being quite the ride in its own right. It was actually one of “New World Pictures” (now defunct) highest grossing film in terms of box-office returns. Having just finished re-watching the flick myself (I hadn’t seen it in ages), I was reminded as to why "House" is simply one hell of a fun freaking times movie.

"House" was an energetic “speed freak” highly-creative horror bachelor party that paralleled the infectious rush you get when cruising through a gnarly Haunted House ride at an amusement park. At every corner, there was a surprise (the Vietnam angle owned), at every corner ,the rules were bent or broken, at every corner, there was either a hefty giggle at the hands of circumstantial humor (I so laughed my ass off) or a good scare prompted by the various beasties in the house. I was tap-dancing on my damn sofa and I just didn’t want to leave that HOUSE! It sure helped that the amazing cast at play was in tip-top form. William Katt carried the film like a pro with able support by "Cheers" alum George Wendt (NORM!!!!!) at his big lug loveable best. The actors themselves were backed by a highly clever screenplay that punched in witty lines and insane situations left, right and center. You want a side order of onion rings with that? Didn’t think so!

Horror wise, "House" displayed some endearingly grim atmosphere (loved those exterior shots of the house) and got me a few times with its potent boo scares. I actually nearly flew through my roof when the first “closet” incident occurred. Good shit, Batman! The same can be said about some of the memorable monsters found in this trippy circus. Who can forget the inflated psycho hag from hell? I sure couldn’t. Actually, she looked kind of familiar…mmm… But I digress. The most memorable baddie of all, in terms of design and scare factor, had to be the undead soldier. That decaying Zombie face, that battered uniform, the detachable arm…what’s not to love?

On the slight downside, the film's narrative was kind of vague when it came to its supernatural occurrences rules (there were no rules!) I guess that’s the price you pay to see a flick run wholeheartedly with its zany premise. Lastly, some of the creature effects weren’t up to par when compared to other ones. Those chimney crawling buggers, for example, were obviously dudes in Halloween masks. Good looking Halloween masks, but Halloween masks nonetheless.

Was that a young Steven Williams ("Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday") playing one of the cops? You bet it was! I LOVE THAT GUY!

Screenwriter Ethan Whiley went on to direct "House 2".

Although enjoyable, "House 2" was too childish for my taste, "House 3" was known as “The Horror Show” in the US (I dug it) and "House 4" saw William Katt return briefly. The film itself was mediocre.